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    Understanding the American ways

    By Anonymous, Created on: 16/10/2004, Last updated on: 28/03/2007

    » I am a Thai lady who left Bangkok at the age of 20, lived in Singapore for 11 years before residing now in the US for the past 4 years. I lived in California for the first year & a half and now I live in Boise, Idaho. Determine to upgrade myself educationally, I enrolled for classes at the local...

    • Anonymous commented : RAD. Why are you thinking about job in Bangkok? There are hospitals and clinics in other provinces. And there are numerous private hospitals in Thailand. Public hospitals are operated by government with lower pay scale, but the benefits and free insurance are attractive to lot of people. You will have to pick where you would like to live beside Bangkok. Do you like the mountains and the sea? If you do, then southern Thailand is your choice. Northeast or Northern Thailand with mountains and forests, or Eastern and Central provinces with close by the sea and lowland forests. I would not want to live in Bangkok. But Bangkok is not too far from other provinces comparing to large country like USA. If you like to visit Bangkok often, I would suggest that you find provinces that is no more than 2 hours highway drive away.

    • Anonymous commented : I'll be graduating in May '05 and I'm planning to take a month vacation in Asia. I'll use this opportunity to check out different places. I have got to make a decision where I want to live. For the past ten years or more, the longest time I stayed in Bangkok was only about two weeks either once or twice a year. The only place I've been outside BKK is Phuket and that was only for a week. As you can see, I don't really know a lot of many things which is really sad.

    • Anonymous commented : Hospitals in Thailand are very good. I've had dealings with severeal - both in the provinces (even remote) and in Bangkok, and would recommend all of them. Ditto every one of the many doctors clinics I've been to.

    • 39 replies, 17,828 views

    Forum

    How difference between Thai lady and Us lady

    By Anonymous, Created on: 25/11/2004, Last updated on: 19/04/2007

    » I need to know why many Us guy falling with Thai lady.

    • Anonymous commented : I'm no expert, this is through love of cultures and personal observations. I've been going to and from Thailand on a regular basis for business for 2 years now. I'm slowing learning the culture and even more slowly speaking the language. But many friends constantly tell me that family is the most important thing. Even after being married, original family is still as important or even more so. Also, most Thai's are extremely loyal to Thailand, and will want to visit so don't think if you marry, you can drag them away forever. No matter what, general rule is, the amount of money you can provide directly represents your love in Thailand. Some of the younger women are starting to believe otherwise due to the larger influx of westernized movies though. Don't think they're taking you to the bank, most Thai girlfriends expect their Thai boyfriends to pay them weekly; as a decade ago, women weren't "supposed" to work. I STRONGLY advise anyone marrying Thai to learn everything possible about their culture. Depending on the village your bride/spouse may be from and how devout she may be to their culture (most are) there may be things you might want to know about. I.E. - Up in the northern villages, if someone is deathly ill, or dies, the oldest woman in the family (your wife maybe) must shave all her hair (entire body)and offer fruit to the Buddha in the local temple while fasting all day and sitting only on her knees. Others involve sucking the insides of scarabs out of their body after tearing off their wings, etc. Normal place in some villages, so you may be eating this when you visit your new mom in law. BTW - Most farang are considered bums if you don't, prior to getting married, pay a tribute to the mother. Roughly 2500 US dollars is the minimum expected of any foreigner. Just things to be ready for. You need to be prepared to accept their culture as well, because most are strongly loyal to their way of life. You may think you're being taking advantage of, but thats how a majority of women in Thailand think. Its only recently women there are questioning that. Abuse is never a good sign though. But I wouldn't think twice about "more money, more money, find a way to send more, think of your baby, bla bla". That seems to be what almost every woman I've talked to there would say. However I've noticed younger women obsessed with the western movie stereotype of love lately. So, in time, Thai shouldn't base their love on money. Considering all else, while it is not "ok" for Thai men to run around on their woman. There's no law about it AND its not looked down upon at all save for traditionalist Thai's in villages. Very few in a city, albeit. The result, is Thai women found out, that there are laws on Western men cheating on them and more on child support etc. Quite a few of them, especially ones working in bars, or tourist locales has grown up without a father, and had many failed relationships, and therefore do not trust men or simply don't expect them to be faithful. They tend to then, place all their love and importance on their child and family. Because although their family may be abusive (Thai families i've seen practice tough love, ie mother "you're stupid, prove you're smart to me") They do honestly believe their family is the one thing that will stay with them forever but you, their spouse, may not. I'm not out to offend anyone, Honestly, I think Thailand is one of the most beautiful, and respectful countries in the world. If you're outside of Bangkok and Pattaya, Its the best. If you're there for sex, that's your thing. I don't blame those girls, they can sleep with two men a month, and make enough to live very well. Anyone, feel free to email me, I really do love Thailand. Its a great place and the people, if you understand them and don't pass judgement, are THE most respectful people I've ever met. I'd love to talk about it, and/or attempt to answer any questions. Im American BTW

    • 17 replies, 9,795 views

    Forum

    stereotype towards interracial marriage in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/11/2004, Last updated on: 01/01/2008

    » I am a Thai man born and grew up in Bangkok educated overseas totally disagree with the stereotype. On the contrary, I have always admired and respected those indigenous Thais women whose dark brown - tan skin blessed by the nature from their hard works shouldering gracefully to their parents’...

    • Anonymous commented : I must disagree that THAIS HATE THE BLACK MAN. I think THAIS are backwards in their treatment of others based soley on skin color. I see evidence of this thru Thai TV, Thai advertising and how Thais just seem to sickly love anything, and I do mean ANYTHING, that seems to be white. I see THAIS as the U.S. used to be in the pre 1960's when it comes to skin color. In the U.S., ANYONE darked-skin, even white farmers and country folk, were deemed to be dumb-azzed, uneducated, trash. I believe Thais suffer from someth similar beliefs and never had a "SAY IT LOUD--I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD" revolution.(In Thai's case, I guess it would be "say it loud, I'm brown and I'm proud.) So, I would say that Thais are about 40 years behind in the acceptance of skin color when compared to the Western world. I notice how some Thai people here in the U.S. will wear jackets in the hot summertime and don't like convertabile cars.(LOL) Unfortunately, Thai treatment of people based on skin color also backfires on them. Here's a personal story. I have first-hand experience with Thai bigotry in matters of love. Two years ago, I began dating an educated, Thai gal here in the U.S. Her family lives in Bangkok and is quite well off. I was nothing but a gentleman (and still am). We went on several dates and I THOUGHT we were growing closer and becoming more than friends. Mind you, I was seeking relationship and sex was the furtherest thing from my mind. Well, well , well what did she do? One of my white colleagues, perhaps the ugliest white guy at the work place, started helping her with her graduate classes in math. This guy also is a womanizer, something I'm not,(wow, a black guy that's not a womanizer , imagine that). His m.o. was to move in with any woman he meets and live off of them. SO-OOO, he did JUST THAT two years ago. The thai gal broke off the relationship with me after our last date during the week of Christmas two years ago and she told me "Thanks for the dates and HAVE A NICE LIFE". And now, they're in Thailand this week getting married. HE DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THE MARRIAGE DOWRY ---LOL. She is taking $10,000 of her OWN MONEY to present to her father (don't ask me how I found out but OOOH, I wish I could tell her father). When I used to date her, she would tell me that I was just like ALL OTHER BLACK guys---wanting to get someone pregnant and use my woman's money. I had never did anything to indicate such things and I never knew why such behavior was exhibited by her. As I said, I'm not the "typical" black guy who was looking to get laid. I got into a fuss with her and she threatened to ruin my name by screaming in public that I would take care of her and our babies---quite craaaazzzy but just more evidence of how Thais think of black men. BUT THE WEIRD THING now is that she calls my phone and hangs up on me. I've had my cell phone off this whole week of Christmas because of the stupid calls I'm now getting from Thailand. I believe she realizes that she made a big, big mistake based solely on the color of my skin. I'm pretty sure that similar situations are happening all the time with various Thai women. I feel quite sorry for Thais in general. As for me, I adore Thai culture but I'm quite suspious of Thai women after my heart-breaking.

    • 32 replies, 18,832 views

    Forum

    Thai Divorce law

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/12/2004, Last updated on: 09/01/2009

    » I heard from a farang that under Thai law men can divorce women in two days. But for a woman, it takes two years. The reasoning being that women are thought of as temperamental creatures, prone to wild mood swings, who need plenty of time to calm down...

    • Anonymous commented : I rashly got a marriage registered to a Thai friend's sister, after a year of emails and a three week family stay in Khon Kaen ten months ago. I was told she couldn't get a fiancee visa as she was only 25, and had only worked as her nephew's nanny and at a karoke bar. She has constantly demanded more and more money from me, pre Visa, until now I think I can't afford her...(was sending 225 a month, plus extras and she started demanding 500 dollars a month...although we've never lived together as man and wife, as I flew back to the US after the wedding. She has finally agreed to a no-contest annulment. However, she insists I return to her town to do it and I suspect mischief will befall me if I return, as her father is in the police. Her emails got very abusive when I wouldn't pay for her family's appliances for their new house where she still lives. Her expenses haven't increased since we married, so I don't know why I should be "supporting" a 26 year old able-bodied woman who claims to have higher education--yes, accounting. My question: Can I have a lawyer or someone take my papers to the divorce office to represent me? I don't want to return to Thailand! I stopped sending any money after she claimed that w/o 500 a month from me, she would starve and be forced to become a bar girl. I suspect a scam. I also expect if I return they will either slam me with huge costs, alimony for a woman I never lived with, or I'll become a "disappeared" or thrown in prison. I desperately want out. I'm already heartsick but don't want to become destitute as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Also, can uncontested divorces be down in Khon Kaen? I wanted to return to Bangkok where we married, but she insists that I return to Khon Kaen where her family has a lot of police and legal power. I feel I'm being fleeced (at the time I quit sending money she was also saying without a 8000 dollar wedding ceremony and a one carat diamond ring, and 250 dollars a month for her parents once we were in America, her parents wouldn't agree to let her come to America. (If immigration would even let her in...she seemed nice and loving, but sometimes would withdraw $$ from the account I set up for her from a Bangkok bank, while I was being emailed the same day from Khon Kaen...she claims my bank there is "stupid" but won't do anything to prove there was an error--and continues to claim she has never returned to bangkok since our marriage registration. Help!

    • farang2x commented : None of these marriages is real, all scams, just for $$$. Farangs with Patpong sign flashing in their eye. They say its love but farang never marry a real 50 year old woman from Bangkok. Farang = phony.

    • 49 replies, 65,617 views

    Forum

    enry into the u.k. for thai girlfriends/partners

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2005, Last updated on: 07/06/2006

    » I started out trying to help my Thai employee (with a British passport) to bring her twenty two year old daughter to the U.K. for a family visit. Thought it would be a breeze. Mother rents a single room so I offered my family home for daughter to stay in during visit. I've heard stories about the...

    • Anonymous commented : Thanks one and all for your help. Sadly, I couldn't pick up the help issues until now. So, what happened? Yep, I went out to Thailand on my cause celebre and married the girl I spoke of. It was a beautiful buddhist ceremony followed by a civil ceremony. I thought, that's it then, now they'll have to let her in. Doh! No such chance. Having satisfied all, and I mean all, the criteria, the U.K. Embassy in Bangkok refused to allow a visa entry on the grounds that "the marriage was not subsisiting". Beware everyone, this is their get out clause. So I read up on the issues and citied article 8 of the Human Rights Act whereby we assumed we had the right to a family life and that meant being together. WRONG! It is a protected right and even though the balance of probabilities was in our favour, they still refused. I've had my sympathetic MP on the case and even David Treisman - The Lord Treisman of Tottenham (none the less!) but even these bigwigs are no match for the truly arrogant and seemingly omnipotent Entry Clearance Manager and related staff in Bangkok. Our only hope is to wait for the independant appeal heard in the U.K. but waiting time is somewhere between one and two years (bit of a backlog of asylum seekers to clear). Apparently bribery and corruption is still rife in Bangkok and I advise you, as I was advised, this is the only sure way to get your partners into the U.K. Believe me, I've had a Thai agency, two MPs and a Lord working on it and if they can't do nowt, what hope do you have? I want to waffle about the injustice of it all and how I see, daily, the Thai prostitutes that have been allowed entry into the U.K. as well as all of the other nationalities that are sponging off our soft country. My Thai wife is an academic and wishes to study business, I have considerable means to support her and she requires zilch from our 'precious' public funds. On this basis, I am ashamed to be British and will no longer consider myself as such. I too will leave this stinking country to live in Thailand (although I have young children to take care of first). Be warned, one and all. The process appears simple but THEY will definately judge you and you will be able to do NOTHING about it.

    • Anonymous commented : I hope you have read my tale of woe on this matter? Firstly, be prepared for the worst. The u.k. embassy will naturally assume that your wife is a prostitute and that you are some kind of paedo. Also, be prepared for a long, long wait. So far, we have been waiting for two years and still we have no date for our appeal hearing! The onus is upon you to prove otherwise to what the entry clearance officer wants to believe. SAVE EVERY SHRED OF EVIDENCE YOU CAN ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Phone bills, e-mails, letters AND the envelopes they came in. photos, scraps of paper - EVERYTHING. It all adds to your chances. I have it on good authority, from my MP, that this is possibly the worst time you could pick to apply to bring in a non EU person. Politically, the subject is very sensitive and that's not to mention the terrorism threats (real or perceived). You may also want to consider the way of the Chinese. They mamange to come in by firstly going to study/live in an EU country that is not as strict as the U.K. Belgium or Ireland for example. Once in these countries they apply for the right to remain and then make the easy EU hop into the U.K. More advice - if you can find a way around the legal route then take it. The British Embassy in Bangkok is still rife with corruption and bribery. It really doesn't pay to be legal these days! I wish I'd known this before I started to do things the 'proper' way! Good Luck.

    • 13 replies, 7,030 views

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