Domestic / cross cultural issues - Thai / Foreigner concerns

Are there any good marriages out there?

By terry, Created on: 20/04/2010, Last updated on: 25/09/2011

» The reason I started this post was to hear good stories of couples getting together. All of the bad things I have heard in Thailand I have seen here in the USA. I treat my wife very well but still now and then she goes over board on spending. As a family we go to to the Wat once a week. Maybe that...

• Vianco commented : Ok, I've read all the posts and looks like there are a lot of men out there! I am a 29 year old Thai woman who is married to a 31 year old Black American man. We've been married for 5 tough but happy years. I met my husband on the internet because I felt like meeting men face to face was difficult for me. Anyhow, I hear all of you. The culture and expectations of Thai traditional parents may seem very imposing to someone from the US. My parents too expected these things, the money, the wedding, the endless finances! I chose to separate myself from these demands that my parents had. I am a successful business woman on my own before meeting my husband who is in the Armed Forces. The second my parents heard I had married they were furious. Then when they found out it was a black man, LMAO, they didn't know what to do with themselves. But I am happy, my husband is happy (least I think ) and our kids are happy. It is not the "nature" of a Thai person to lie. Over the years I've observed and Americans (most) do not understand that when you marry someone from a poor country you need to understand that we/that individual has a mind set of SURVIVING. If they have been taught to lie, cheat and steal to survive all their lives these traights are not going to go away right away or ever for that matter. Sometimes the underlying reason may be that your spouse does not trust you or has an alternate agenda than you that you may not know of. Trust me this is most common. My sister is planning everyday for her husband's death and getting full access to his funds. And being around her and SEVERAL other Thai women the consenses is the same. Then there are those, no matter your culture, are pathalogical liars. I think Potluck just needs to divorce his wife. You are doing that child more harm than good. If you were really that doped up when you first met her you could have gotten the marriage anulled. Trust me, you could have. You chose not to and want to live ur life as a victim. Since that's your choice, stop complaining. I am open to questions and relationship advice!

• Vianco commented : Just to let you know that spending can indicate a numerous amount of personality traits. Being a Thai woman who basically grew up in the slums and now having plenty, it could be that 1) she's a woman who has bad spending habits like us all, 2)she's bored or 3) has no disregard when it comes to the finances because her expectation is that of many Asian woman which is it's not her responsibility. Let me clue you in on the whole Wat thing. There are two groups of people who go, those you truly respect their culture and religion and those that do it (especially living in Thailand) because if they didn't "what would people think". A Wat is like a Church. Their are true Christian and the ones that play Christian when the time is convenient. What will make your marriage strong is open communication and trust. If you can openly talk with your wife about the issue of her over spending and she's receptive then you have MANY years of happiness to come. IF you talk to her and she gets defesive you need to find out what the underlying reason(s) are. Trust me as a woman who's been thru many relationships to finally find happiness with my current husband, there will be an underlying reason. Best of luck! [quote="terry":3qegj2oc]The reason I started this post was to hear good stories of couples getting together. All of the bad things I have heard in Thailand I have seen here in the USA. I treat my wife very well but still now and then she goes over board on spending. As a family we go to to the Wat once a week. Maybe that is the reason for a strong marriage.[/quote:3qegj2oc]

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