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    Is Thai guy a good man to marry??

    By Anonymous, Created on: 30/06/2002, Last updated on: 18/09/2007

    » I met a Thai guy by chance and wonder if I get the right man?? Can any thai men and women give me some advise?? Thanks a lot!!

    • Anonymous commented : e our time and energy through political and social activism. In countries like the US, the AIDS epidemic has provided the queer community with a platform in which to achieve both a voice and visibility, the fundamental prerequisites of establishing an 'identity'. The idea of a gay 'community' in Singapore is at best, tenuous -- we know the government doesn't want to recognise us from the simple gesture of rejecting PLU's application for the status of a registered society. Under such seemingly repressive conditions, we turn our gazes towards each other and become more fragmented. And ultimately, our search towards recognition leads us towards one person we call many names: partner, lover, boyfriend, my significant other. In Singapore, couplehood is what often stands for 'community'. Another thing that contributes to our singlehood anxieties is the fact that before we finally sat down and told ourselves that being gay is not a choice but a discovery, we had been leading a life of denial. We had a phantom adolescence, one where faint stirrings were sensed but never duly acknowledged. While hormones chorused during our polytechnic and JC days, we were simply curious bystanders to Valentine's Day rituals of giving flowers, secret-admirer notes slipped into lockers, canteen gossip of who is currently dating whom. After our coming-out turning-point though, we realised another world existed. This kind of awakening could have been galvanised by the Internet, chance encounters, upon stumbling into certain information and literature. We realised we had company. We realised that two men, perfectly masculine in all aspects, who go mountain-biking or swimming or play tennis together, could also share a bedroom. And with this realisation came the urge to erase past shames and the denial of reciprocity, a revisionist 'gay adolescence', which for many gay people happens in their late teens or early twenties (or even later for some). We want to make up for lost time. We want to do all the things we thought we were denied, and top on the list is to find a boyfriend. Or perhaps that's about the only thing on the list. But wanting to love and be loved in return is a fundamental human need (except in the case of gay men it seems to ignore Darwinian biological commonsense). That's the root of the matter isn't it? And no amount of persuasive rhetoric can deny the fact that being in the embrace of someone is better than staring at your computer screen at a 'Men on the Net' website with a hand in your boxers. It is an impulse which poets describe, philosophers analyse, but which nobody is able to explain. But I'm talking about pitting singlehood against couplehood, and privileging the latter over the former. One is not a higher form of the other, is not its fulfilment and destination. The relationship between the two is not hierarchical but dynamic. Being single should not be defined as the absence of an 'other half' -- it denigrates you. When we invest our happiness in couplehood, we deny ourselves the ability and the right to create our own happiness. Of course all of this goes against a wave of evidence manufactured by Hollywood, sentimental ballads, Hallmark cards, and the impenetrable facade of lovers. People in love seem to project this sense of self-sufficiency bordering on invulnerability. They have this glow, this spring in their step, and when you call a friend who's in his honeymoon period of couplehood, you hear a purring voice that's smug and dreamy, where the subtext reads, 'how are you, I've just had my prostate massaged and it was sheer bliss'. But if we can somehow get beyond all these 'someone-has-the-key-to-my-happiness' yearnings, then we'd realise how underrated solitude is. Being single can also be a state of grace. There's the introspection bit, the re-prioritising of affections, the calling up of friends you haven't kept in touch with, the family bonding, a sensitivity to one's surroundings. Somebody single can even have a certain glow on his face, and even though it won't be a post-coital one, it is a glow nevertheless. Perhaps one day, us singles will finally be recognised not as people waiting in the wings for their turn, but as people who have simply chosen a lifestyle we are comfortable with. And that doesn't make us frigid or cold or emotionless, it's just that our loves are multiple and dispersed over so many other things: poetry, jazz, rock-climbing, our pet dog, our ten-year old niece. Perhaps gay men will stop whining about being left on the shelf because honey, life isn't a supermarket and it's ridiculous to think that you're worth as much as a roll of paper towels or a jar of pickles. Well, as for me, I'm happy enough being where I am. My parents are in good health. I can have ugly, sloppy days in the company of close friends and not subject myself to the tyranny of 'first impressions'. And the best thing about friends is that what is past becomes history, and not some kind of baggage. For true friends very rarely keep small scores. Someone might have just gotten hitched to his eighth boyfriend, but I have just finished watching videos of Fellini's La Strada and some Kurosawa shorts. At the end of the day, it's about self-actualisation. If being attached would mean that you'll become a better person, a happier person, then you should go ahead and aggressively pursue that other half. Me, I'm not waiting for anyone, and I want to say it as a statement of fact rather than a resigned fatalistic sigh. It's possible that someone out there is waiting for me though, which is quite a thought. But before I let him through the front door he'd better be able to complete my favourite phrase when I prompt him: 'Quietness without?--Loneliness'. And understand and appreciate what it means. To me. To him. To us.

    • 14 replies, 14,207 views

    Forum

    family visa

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2004, Last updated on: 12/09/2006

    » When the Thai government will allow foreigners with Thai spouse and children to own a one year visa without the need to travel out of the country every 3 month or to show 800 thousands bahts in a bank account, this is very unfair and even most of the Thais don't earn this sum per year, why this discrimination...

    • Anonymous commented : edge and unestimated the vast political entrenchment of his oppositions.

    • Anonymous commented : uite obvious that all leading political parties in Thailan happen to be organized by Chinese. Evidently there had not seen one successful party run by genuine Thai since the second world war. Doesn't that eat your heart out? Listen Rooster.....there are still widely available for empty land in the rural area deep in the jungle of the northeast of Thailand where you can engage the good old typical easy Thai life style. that might help to rehabilitate your nerves. Good luck my friend.

    • Anonymous commented : they are working for certain political interests and catching mostly the little fishes.

    • Anonymous commented : some friends, but the current political wave is all red and not blue. The property market is controlled mostly by Chinese and Indian realestate companies, they will not push this proposal. Opening the door all the way would make the indigenous Thais even poorer since all these foreign property businesses would go into cahoots as usual.

    • Anonymous commented : nd II. USA shoud not ask for political flavors or influencing Europe since they help build Western Europe. Oh, there are not corruption in the developing countries either...they just have everything down to the zero and clean white collar activities and living off those old colonial dividends. Keeping the western economic system is a good idea since these developing countries will never keep up and their IMF would keep them in the gutter. To ensure that they are in the gutter, western banking system like in Europe should continue to have banking secrecy and no question ask policy. Yes, Thailand has problems. We can fix our problems if we have our own way to do so, but Thais are not in control of our own country and government. Do you think Thaksin is 100% working in the benefit for Thais and Thai culture? You can take a look at him again to be sure!?

    • Anonymous commented : , Thailand is tolling the PRC political line. IMF does not care about economic status of lay people, which would impact them most. PRC made a calculated political move, which won their political support from Thai government beside the already overwhelm supports from the Chinese business communities in Thailand. As the results, western governments are labeled as white devils.

    • 65 replies, 24,845 views

    Forum

    British Embassy in Bangkok

    By Anonymous, Created on: 05/10/2004, Last updated on: 25/02/2011

    » In March, my Thai partner wanted to visit me in London. Before granting a visa, the Embassy wanted a mountain of paperwork including proof of my income, whether or not I woned my own home and a whole lot of other things. At this stage, I have to say that we have many controversial issues in the UK...

    • Anonymous commented : e politic, and who are at the political steering wheel.

    • 64 replies, 66,876 views

    Forum

    Thai Divorce law

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/12/2004, Last updated on: 09/01/2009

    » I heard from a farang that under Thai law men can divorce women in two days. But for a woman, it takes two years. The reasoning being that women are thought of as temperamental creatures, prone to wild mood swings, who need plenty of time to calm down...

    • Anonymous commented : and only the royal family and political leaders saved their own positions. I do not think that I can change your mind on this matter. If you are right, then why do they need to bring their big guns and ships to visit their friends and make treaties? Thais do not learn real history in school, and most of us learnt our history at our own initiatives. Because we do not need or want to learn our own history from the European or the Chinese versions.

    • 49 replies, 65,617 views

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    Purachai Ruins Poors Thais

    By Anonymous, Created on: 01/02/2005, Last updated on: 04/01/2006

    » Thaksin's deputy PM Mr. Purachai is thinking about moving to New Zealand, according to Bangkok Post, 27th January. Purachai already has children there - studying / buying big-time real-estate. This despite his government continuing Thailand's ban on foreigner's...

    • Anonymous commented : d only add Thaksin's political problems seem much larger than small-fry Sondhi. Thaksin does seem to have got badly off-side with the Prem faction. Many senior Thai military seem very unhappy about the way Thaksin family and associates have over-ridden them for top military positions. It is this - much more than Sondhi - which has spooked foreign investors, somewhat.

    • 8 replies, 5,107 views

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