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    Pre-Marital Sex. - Part I.

    By Anonymous, Created on: 18/06/2003, Last updated on: 26/04/2007

    » Hello Mr. Rooster ; I moved this discussion to this more appropriate thread. Mr. Rooster wrote : "People are like animals, and their sexual drives will involve some types of pre-marital sex. So prostitution will be there to provide needed service. " The sexual urge is indeed extraordinarily powerful,...

    • Anonymous commented : ng for a very long time. "Or students' sex: ``Look at the history, at what age did a Thai girl want to have a husband in the past? When she had her first period! The system of modern education teaches that virginity should be protected until university graduation, and if a woman chooses to lose it before we panic because we think it's such a big problem." - Outspoken writer Lakhana Punvichai in Bangkok Post Real Time, March 28, 2003. "She says men fear her. She says they try to stay away from her free-spoken radius of tough thoughts and liberal lucidity. Now we hear her think, we watch her unravel, and ah, we say those men don't know what they are missing." Sadly, Ms. Lakhana attempts to legitimize casual student sex by comparing student sex to marrying your soul mate and life's partner when you are young. They are not the same at all. For my feelings on this teaching, see my 'Background Info' post. Yes, I am afraid of her, and yes, I do know what I am missing. Cheers!!!

    • 20 replies, 16,987 views

    Forum

    Dowery

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/05/2004, Last updated on: 09/03/2007

    » Hello and thanks to all that responded to my last questions. Those of you who have been following my last questions thanks. I am set to marry in Nov or Dec and I talked to her family. My dowery is set at 2 milllion bath and I already gave a 200,000 bath strater to show that I was interested. What...

    • Anonymous commented : ation... for which she has a student loan. Which is why I always advocate making the family use the dowry to pay off the student loan so that everyone ends up happy. I am happy because it goes to pay for her education (a cost that we would have to face) and the family are happy because the money is on the table. How much does it take to raise a girl in Thailand ??? Not 2 million Baht. How many Thai men do you think could afford to pay 2 million Baht? Not many. I think that 100,000 is more normal but the girl wants to show off by having as much as possible on the table. Some will say what they think a good cash cow can afford, others will be reasonable. If you act like a good cash cow it will be harder to put on the brakes latter no matter what your bank manager says. If the family are not prepared to be reasonable then I think one should consider if this is a good situation to go into...

    • Anonymous commented : sexual activities with their students. It is very rare for Thai male teachers to do it since there are system in place to deal with these Thai teachers. Now, these new generation Thai girls at college level are doing it with their foreign teachers and students for free and casual with impermanent relationship. These western men knew that they would have to go to the brothels like the local for sex if they could find some naive girls to be their girlfriends. So Gina and other Thai girls, all of you do not have to worry about the dowery system or other traditional Thai culture. The Thai urban subculture is growing with rapid pace and influences from young foreigners who are living and working in Thailand. Thai men will have to ask for virginity police if the girl families are asking for dowery, since these Thai girls are not as they used to be....

    • 61 replies, 27,697 views

    Forum

    British Embassy in Bangkok

    By Anonymous, Created on: 05/10/2004, Last updated on: 25/02/2011

    » In March, my Thai partner wanted to visit me in London. Before granting a visa, the Embassy wanted a mountain of paperwork including proof of my income, whether or not I woned my own home and a whole lot of other things. At this stage, I have to say that we have many controversial issues in the UK...

    • Anonymous commented : rlfriend is a Thai university student and I am a Brit living in Bangkok. I have taken her to the UK twice on tourist visas and once each to Spain and the US. (The US embassy gave her a 10 year tourist visa.) She is not from a wealthy family and doesn't have a lot of assets but did have the minimum B200k in a bank account deposited over a period of time before the first application. The US embassy didn't even look at her bank book. I read all the various embassy requirements very carefully before each application and provided detailed documentation on both of our backgrounds as well as invitations from hosts with copies of their passports and evidence of their addresses. I attended all the interviews with her. On each occasion she was given the visa immediately after brief interviews to confirm some of the details in the documentation. I have no complaints at all except that the American Embassy is very hot and queues there are long and that the Spanish Embassy requires notarised documents from a host which cost me 200 euros. The British Embassy came out absolute tops in terms of efficiency and courtesy for my money. I also have nothing but praise for the consular section. If you look at British Embassy web site you will see that they are looking for a company to outsource some of the visa work to. I hope they can maintain the same standards.

    • 64 replies, 66,876 views

    Forum

    Understanding the American ways

    By Anonymous, Created on: 16/10/2004, Last updated on: 28/03/2007

    » I am a Thai lady who left Bangkok at the age of 20, lived in Singapore for 11 years before residing now in the US for the past 4 years. I lived in California for the first year & a half and now I live in Boise, Idaho. Determine to upgrade myself educationally, I enrolled for classes at the local...

    • Anonymous commented : Asia. My company and I send students from China to the US. I inform them of how to over come this problem that so many Asians face. I encourage them to join clubs. There are many in every city in the US. Then you will be with people who have a common interest. The next thing is to be friends with the people you go to school with. You can start a conversation by sitting down in class, look over to the person next to you and say.......Did you get your homework completed? Did you think it was easy or hard or long or borning. Then they will start asking you "Where are you from?" Don't assume American's will know. Most American's want to talk to you but don't know what to say. If you start the conversation then they will jump in. If you only smile then American assume your smile means you are shy and your English is not good. No worries. Be yourself and take risks. You have nothing to lose but loneliness. Hope things work out. Your American Friend,Julia My suggestion is not to run to Canada, because you will find the same problem or worse. The French - Canadians who only speak French.

    • Anonymous commented : nglish and have been an honor student in college. Jeff, I believe you are absolutely right that the cause of all these feelings I have may stem from the fact that I experience for the very first time a sense of isolation; the feeling of being different. Despite the positvie opinion, you and Adam response, do you feel or agree with me that most Americans shy away from talking to the foreiners because they don't like to be exposed to something they don't know about? Personally I feel like many other Thais do, we are always curious about other cultures and we do take the time to learn and understand the differences. I have only met one person who really shows interest in Thai culture and it is only because that person has a Thai sister-in-law. On one occasion, I met a person who thought that Thailand isTaiwan. Thank you for all your inputs I am truly appreciated them.

    • 39 replies, 17,828 views

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    enry into the u.k. for thai girlfriends/partners

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2005, Last updated on: 07/06/2006

    » I started out trying to help my Thai employee (with a British passport) to bring her twenty two year old daughter to the U.K. for a family visit. Thought it would be a breeze. Mother rents a single room so I offered my family home for daughter to stay in during visit. I've heard stories about the...

    • Anonymous commented : longer period. I looked into student visas, visitor visas, engagement and marriage visas with the visitor being the easiest and quickest. I sent her the forms along with my payslips, phone bills and a signed letter. She went to Bangkok, told them what colour my boxers are and got her visa. Booked a flight and we spent a great six months together. So somewhere in the supposedly corrupt embassy in Bangkok there are some honest officials who can spot a sweet young girl who just wants to visit her boyfriend. And as quick I am to vent my angers at British immigration laws being surrounded by so many immigrants, I’m sure these people aren’t deliberately causing grief or just trying to fill their own back pockets. Through my girlfriend I’ve now met a large number of Thai people in London. Some who should be here and some who shouldn’t. Unfortunately the British embassy is run by people who naturally make mistakes and my utmost sympathies it they rejected your girlfriend or wife at the expense of admitting somebody they should have sent back to Patpong. Now I just hope she’ll be able to come back in the same manner, as can we really justify needing another six months in the UK to meet my family and visit Buckingham Palace?

    • 13 replies, 7,030 views

    Forum

    thai divorce and property law

    By Anonymous, Created on: 21/02/2005, Last updated on: 16/01/2006

    » I'm a U.S. citizen and married to a thai guy in U.S., he has nothing in U.S. but business ownership, land and bank accounts in thailand. our baby is going to be U.S. citizen, i want to know, is it true by law that he told me that i cannot co-own any business, land or bank account of his? what can...

    • Anonymous commented : old "I'm an accountancy student" trick. Simply refuse to send any more money - since she and her family are obviously taking you to the cleaners. Simply don't go back to Thailand. If she wants a divorce, before the necessary two years is up under Thai law : tell her to pay back the money she's taken from you ! I'm assuming there's no children involved. If you have children from her, send money to the family - into grandmother's account, since she'll be doing most of the child-minding. While "wife" is off after another money scam target !!

    • Anonymous commented : s, and claimed to be the best student in her class, but then dropped the classes this spring, around the time he started "starving" her. This girl has a car, lives in a new high standard house which the three sisters just bought for their parents---to get them out of police housing. They also have a country house, with rice, pond, etc. The father isn't retired, still working but spends most of his time with his girlfriend and refuses to pay mortgage for the house, so daughters are each to pay a third...so new bride keeps asking my son to send money for mortgage ASAP.... 1) Could they annul and then apply for a K-1 visa with any chance of success? 2) In an uncontested divorce, in a marriage of 8 months, in which the couple has never lived together since registration, could the "husband" sign papers in US and get a proxy to present them at the amphur? 3) If they married in Bangkok, shouldn't they divorce there instead of in Khon Kaen which she insists? 4) Although non-contested, can the Amphur then assess a lot of trumped up fines on my son, and refuse to let him leave the country until they were paid? (She might have run up credit card debts or whatever in the nine months since he's seen her...) 5) Could he divorce her from the US, according to Thai laws, and send the papers over? We believe that last spring, she might have reunited with an old Thai boyfriend; or that her sister is lining up one of her husband's older friends to marry her next...they seem awfully anxious to end it....but my son says he would be a sitting duck for the cops or old boyfriends or whomever---leaving her with all his worldly assets, or at least half...(Somehow his bank knew of his recent foreign marriage, although he has never informed them? Weird...she has US in-laws with former CIA connections...it feels claustrophia and maybe we're paranoid...but reading the UN Report about Human Rights Violations during the Crackdown...and the disappearance of farangs, and the recognition that the police system is questionable and prisons unassailable...going back isn't an option, but the need to end this travesty is weighing on all of us...as we vasilate like the ones who write to Stickman...She's innocent/she's not; she's cohersed/she instigating; she's Cinderella/she's Cruella de Ville; she has a Thai boyfriend/she doesn't/she is lining up a richer farang/she's heartbroken; he could go safely and quickly for a co-signing/he will get hit with lawsuits and not be able to leave the country; he would be safe in Bangkok/he would be set upon by a gang paid to avenge Thai girl's loss of face---farang thinks $250 enough for ME while he saves for wedding!!! Then one day he noticed while she was suppose to be at home--as she stated in her email--visiting with friends next door in Khon Kaen--documents from the account he set up for her had a withdrawal from Bangkok. When he asked her about this she said it was a mistake. She claimed she hadn't returned to Bangkok since their wedding, the day he flew back to Montana. He went to great effort to have the bank double-check where the withdrawal occurred. She claimed it was the Malikan branch on Bangkok Road in Khon Kaen. So--he sent her $85 and told her to please use that same branch bank for the withdrawal...she has refused and asked that he drop the subject as it is boring her, and she dislikes him accusing her as she is innocent. Ever since her weird behavior this spring, my son and I have been combing the internet to try and understand Thai culture, divorce and marriage laws, bar girls and found this forum. She has belatedly agreed to co-signing an annulment, and wants him to apply for the K-1 afterwards. However, when he asks that she and her mother or whomever, and nephew meet him in Bangkok where they married for annulment, with him paying all expenses, hotel, plane, etc. She refuses and says they must meet in Khon Kaen. My son worries that it wouldn't be safe to return to Khon Kaen. Although agreeing to co-signment of a non-contested divorce, she seems to be talleying up "her" expenses---could they hit him with a big bill for costing her "face" or whatever...and refuse to let him leave the country w/o his first paying? With a police chief father, who seems to really enjoy finding drug cars, which the police can then keep for themselves, and an uncle who is a lawyer---and the kind of records she seems to be keeping---it seems highly unlikely that my son can sail in, sign, and sail out. Would a proxy be allowed? The girl, herself, seems to rather naive, she has been caring for her sister's (who married a farang GI) child since the boy was 2 years old---the child is constantly being refused immigration by Thai authorities. The family seems to have an agenda of their own and she is just a pawn in the game...or so it seemed, until last spring when she seemed to change character from a loving bride and began ranting for more and more money. (We chalked it up to some translator writing the letters...perhaps even her sister who is now rich via marrying a farang who later became successful businessman. NO to spending outside the budget, but she just went ahead. Then threatened to become a bar-girl if he didn't send between 450 and 500 dollars a month. Later, she said this wasn't a serious threat, only a "test" of him. Originally the future wedding ceremony in Khon Kaen was agreed by the family to be: $1000 bride price, a modest ceremony which could be up to a $1000, and a diamond ring. Then this spring, arguing for $400 or $500 a month--which was never agreed upon priorly although she claims so--she also demands now for the wedding: 150,000 bahts for mother; 150,000 bahts for reception which the Mom will cater ; and 150,000 bahts for show at wedding--with an unspecified amount returned later. One one-carat diamond ring. She now claims if these demands aren't meant her parents will refuse to let her come to America. Also, recently she has said if $250 monthly isn't sent to mother then she won't be "allowed" to go. Once in America, she claims she will try to pay half of Mom's costs. My son thought maybe they could get non-contested annulment and then apply for a K-1 visa for her---as it seems risky to bring her to America as a wife---while he would be protected if she were only a fiancee. If they were simpatico here, they could marry in the US, and then return for the Thai ceremony in a year (and he could get a pre-nup before he marries her here.) Would this work?

    • Anonymous commented : iting to the sister of a Thai student I was teaching--who had married an American GI, now businessman, in Thailand. A year's emails later, son goes to southern Thailand to meet this pen-pal, who was suppose to be a 27 year old accounting student, who worked nights in a karoke bar...well, son saves money and goes with Thai sister and her businessman husband to meet younger sister. Three weeks in Thailand at family home (during the tsunami time) in country and on the 10th of January they happpily marry and he leaves for MT the next day. Then the problems start, new wife begins staying home being a nanny and helpmate to family. She starts demanding more and more money. Son starts bank account, but sometimes girl is in Bangkok extracting money when suppose to be in the southern countryside. All of a sudden he is suppose to be paying for girl's parents house mortgage, new appliances, and sending 500 a month...US dollars...or she will claim he's starving her and she must go become a bar girl. How does he get out of this? They have had one day of marriage together. He was saving money for the ceremony in Thailand, 1000 bride money for girls mother, visas, travel, etc. but the girl now wants 10,000 US for mother's fee, plus money for one carat diamond, and money for mother to cater the ceremony. Is this a scam? Must he go back to Thailand to get divorce? She hasn't answered any email since he asked why she was withdrawing money from Bangkok when she was writing as if at home caring for nephew in the south. Any advice greatly appreciated.

    • 44 replies, 19,067 views

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