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Pedestrian crossing only there because farangs

By bobbyd, Created on: 20/08/2014, Last updated on: 25/01/2015

» have them in their country! They must be cool to have, so the Thais think? Don’t expect Thai drivers to give you the right of way when using them however! Here, it’s the other way round. Even in heavy traffic conditions when you might expect you could cross the road, don’t expect drivers...

• modsquad commented : t really portray Bangkok in a good light, does it?” he said, choosing his words with the same care a durian aficionado chooses his first fruit of the season. He went on to explain that my story would portray Bangkok drivers as brazen, wide-eyed sociopaths who’d stop for nothing, let alone a pedestrian. Piety shrivels up and dies in the face of reputation. I put up a good fight, but in the end there was no way I could win. The lives of pedestrians needed to take second place to Thailand’s image, and he announced he would delete the paragraph. Twenty-five years have passed, and if Bangkok drivers were brazen, wide-eyed sociopaths in 1990, what are they now? Is there a word for “brazen times 10”? And yet despite being roundly ignored, zebra crossing keep popping up on our streets — often in tourist places. Why is that? Perhaps if we didn’t paint them on our roads, we would look like some under-developed nation and that would make us look bad on the international stage. Perhaps they will help return happiness to the Thais. Perhaps this military government is keen on making us a hub for zebra crossings or, more recently, squiggly white lines. What is the relationship between a zebra crossing and a squiggly line anyway? It’s a psychological ploy. Apparently when you approach squiggly lines, you are led to believe the road is narrowing and that makes you slow down. At least it works like that in Sydney, London, Stockholm and Copenhagen, so it should work here. Never assume anything, dear reader. First of all, this trick relies on the expectation that drivers have their eyes on the road. Bangkok drivers gaze intermittently at the road ahead, but that is in between Line messaging, checking Facebook pages, watching soapies on the TV screen mounted just to the left of the driver’s seat and painting one’s fingernails. Second, how can a squiggly line go up against a deep-seeded, ingrained desire to ignore zebra crossings for fear of having to slow down? I know; I tried it once. I was driving along Sukhumvit Road where there was a zebra crossing. I would normally have ignored it except that as I approached, a group of school students had already stepped off the kerb and was on the white lines. I momentarily forgot myself; perhaps I was reminiscing about Sydney, or London, or Abba or Hans Christian Anderson. Whatever the reason, I slowed down. And stopped. What transpired was a tirade of intimidation as the man in the pickup truck behind me went ballistic. My actions caused him, too, to have to stop, not to mention nearly rear-ending me. He blasted his horn and when I looked into my rear-view mirror I could see his lips writhing and contorting, as is necessary when one spits vitriol at a bald-headed farang in the black Teana in front. In summary; stopping at a Bangkok zebra crossing is as dangerous as a pedestrian thinking he or she can safely cross the road on one. Wouldn’t it be great if squiggly white lines truly could change the bad habits of an entire city. It would be a lot cheaper than enforcing traffic rules, or mounting a serious campaign to teach Thai drivers what they must do when approaching a zebra crossing (and can we throw in an extra bit about how to properly use a roundabout?) There are plans to extend those Dinso Road squiggles throughout the entire city. What a boon for the Somchai Squiggly Line Company Limited, owned by the relative of the department head who will contract out the work. As for the rest of us, life no doubt will go on as usual. By the way, my travel guide story has an unexpected happy ending. Khun Veerachai was “asked to leave” not long after and in the ensuing kerfuffle the order to delete my offending paragraph never made it to the lay-out guys. The paragraph ended up being published. Editors, like squiggly lines, are oft times ignored. [i:1qns9uvt]Story by Andrew Biggs, Post Publishing.[/i:1qns9uvt]

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