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    Dowery

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/05/2004, Last updated on: 09/03/2007

    » Hello and thanks to all that responded to my last questions. Those of you who have been following my last questions thanks. I am set to marry in Nov or Dec and I talked to her family. My dowery is set at 2 milllion bath and I already gave a 200,000 bath strater to show that I was interested. What...

    • Anonymous commented : My message may appear as if I'm a faminist. Introspectively I don't think I am. I believe in the equality of all human beings. I am disheartened to see discrimination and social injuctice towards the less fortunate and the minority. I am leaning towards an independent rather than being the extreem leftist or rightist. (I'll vote for Busch though because I do believe Kerry has the tendency to lean on whichever directions the wind blows) Anyway I would just stick to the topic at hand. I believe what you have said is true about the change that is happening now in Bangkok. Years and years of western influence have effected us culturally. More and more young people are in favour of modernisation and frown upon old tradition as being too conservative and impractical. As I've mentioned, I do not object to 'Dowerey' system as long as it's within reason. It's true that money is important to provide security and sustain our livelyhood, but money should not be gained by a marriage of convenience. Financial rewards should come from one own achievement and I believe the probable way to acquire that is through higher education and personal perseverence.

    • Anonymous commented : My wife to be is Thai/Chinese (Taechew) from Chinatown Bangkok. Her huge extended families own many businesses and properties and live in a massive house with many staff/servants. She is degree educated and has traveled all over the world. Not previously married. Definitely no children Recently I went to the brothers wedding. He paid a million baht worth of gold, a million baht worth of diamond sets. (Rings, necklaces earrings etc) diamond studded Rolex. Other gifts. And a large sum of cash. 700+ guests (oddly including many senior police) at one of the best hotels in Bangkok. They are by any standards a wealthy family. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned in this discussion is that wealthy families give back the Dowry. They did with my fiancés big sister. Even though he is from a wealthy family as well. They are not as rich as these lot. It’s all about face. To be seen to not need the dowry gains face. Although somewhat insulting. Firstly one must present at least a million baht. Then your family is not perceived as being wealthy enough so it’s given back. Funny old system. To the guy who’s been quoted 2 million. Unless she’s Royal in which case they would not be introducing a foreigner to the family. So you can cancel that one out. The only reason would be if she belonged to senior of the main 3 Police, Army, government (criminal organizations that run Thailand) it which case the dowry likely given back. Figures are difficult but if the family is not clearly “Hi So” High Society 500,000 baht would be good place to “Cap" Thai dowry’s. Also find out what family and friends paid of equal status. 40,000 seems to be about normal in most case that i've asked. 440,000 is another price that’s kicked around. Think its to do with the price of gold that is in some cases matched. Personally I’m thinking about a million baht but in my case the mother has already decided “which” house to give us. Hope I’ve got it right ;-)

    • 61 replies, 27,697 views

    Forum

    family visa

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2004, Last updated on: 12/09/2006

    » When the Thai government will allow foreigners with Thai spouse and children to own a one year visa without the need to travel out of the country every 3 month or to show 800 thousands bahts in a bank account, this is very unfair and even most of the Thais don't earn this sum per year, why this discrimination...

    • Anonymous commented : Well it seems the author knows about the US immigration policy very well, but let us look a bit farther, is it all about Thais going to US or the other way round? how about the foreigners being harrassed daily on the streets of Bangkok by police---and immigration? (All of a sudden anybody in uniform here in Thailand can ask a foreigner about passport). How about people living in Thailand for years, married with kids yet without resident permit?, how about Africans that are on daily basis harrassed, picked up sometimes left to rot away at immigration detention center?, The Thai government should for once grant legal status to foreigners living living in Thailand in form of "Resident permit" irrespective of race or material status.

    • Anonymous commented : I think what the post may have been referring to was some raids on Bangkok night clubs, where hundreds of farang were charged with not carrying their passports. There was one notorious incident at the Q Club, in particular. The police were looking for drugs - but when they found next to none, they charged large numbers for not carrying their passports. To make the raid worthwhile, it' been suggested. Under Thai law, foreigners are required to carry their passports at all times. Somewhat impractical, even dangerous, you might say, and somewhat unjust - given that Thais are not required to carry theirs in many farang countries. But there you are : obey Thailand's laws. At very least carry a photocopy of your passport. Those who did at Q Club were reportedly given lesser fines.

    • 65 replies, 24,845 views

    Forum

    Learning about Thai ladies in marriage and culture

    By Anonymous, Created on: 23/08/2003, Last updated on: 21/10/2007

    » I would like to learn about the Thai lady in marriage and the Thai culture. The reason for this, is that after literally travelling the world for many years, during work commitments, and meeting along the way many ladies for serious relationships. I met along the way a lady from Thailand. We met many...

    • Anonymous commented : Jeff. It is appeared that you are involving with a poor and or rural family. I still owed my aunt a watch I promised her from last year. You see, my aunt is supporting five grandchildren and one also has AIDS. In the rural area, a good watch is the last few luxury items that you do not very need since it is like a jewelry. The rural Thai people learn how to tell time by using the sun and the moon. Most of them will go to sleep and wake-up like chickens depending on the sunlight. Well, Jeff. I am sure that he did not ask you to get him a Rolex. You can get a good battery operated watch for $10.00 at the drug store in USA. He did not test you, but traditional Thais are very generous and giving. As future son-in-law, you will need to learn what are their needs. It is often the simplest things in life that you as foreigner or urbanites are often over looked. If I were you, I would get him the old fashion geer operated watch since it is very expensive to get battery replacement in the rural area. My recommendation is that you should not get them anything expensive or un-reuseable gifts. When you visiting your-in-law, I would recommend to you to shop in the city before travelling to the rural area for household items and foods or buying them at the local market if there are available. I usually buy my cousins and others in rural area things like towels, underwears, condiments, dry foods, and etc.. If I visiting them for one week, I would buy enough foods and drinks for 2 weeks supply for everyone beside me. Please do not buy them cigarette or alcohol, social problems later. My uncle loved the solar, dynamo, and battery operated radio plus flashlight. They could take the radio out to the field with them and left it on all day. There are plenty of things that you can buy from Bangkok. Western style supermarkets and shopping center like Wal-Mart are everywhere as in other small cities. Remember, indigenous Thais are not greedy people, and sharing is very important thing in life. Oh, you should make sure to give B100.00 baht to each children in the family before you leave; it would be their saving money or candy money. The amount of money giving to older adults is often unnecessary, but it would depending on your generosity.

    • Anonymous commented : As you are part of the family, son-in-law is son-in-law everywhere. In your situation, your age does not matter now. Your father-in-law is the head of his family. You will be the head of your family as long as you are living in your own house. I still call and respect my brother and sister-in-laws who are a few years younger than me as elder to show my respect to them. Although age does matter in term of social hierarchy, but it is depending on the situation. If you are trying to hold your head higher than anyone elses, you will not have a lot of respect. Every times, I am visiting my uncle village; the kamnan (village chief) always come over to visit me since I always bring gift for the village school. The kamnan is usually the elder in the village with better economic status than other village members. He always greet me first to show sign of respect. At the same time, I would try to greet him and low myself a little to show him respect. I would invite his family to have super with us since they are plenty of foods and drinks. Your problem would be the language barrier, but you should learn how to greet people the Thai way and learning few words like thank you and hello in Thais. Anyway, acting like youngster does make you feel younger, especially with your wife. You will eventually gaining more respect from other old and young people, which will depending on how you conducting yourself. You also need to call her mom and dad like they are your mom and dad in Thai since they would be like your parents. I would recommend that you learn Thai from Bangkok Post website or get a Rosetta Stone Thai language program for your computer.

    • 27 replies, 16,641 views

    Forum

    Pre-Marital Sex. - Part I.

    By Anonymous, Created on: 18/06/2003, Last updated on: 26/04/2007

    » Hello Mr. Rooster ; I moved this discussion to this more appropriate thread. Mr. Rooster wrote : "People are like animals, and their sexual drives will involve some types of pre-marital sex. So prostitution will be there to provide needed service. " The sexual urge is indeed extraordinarily powerful,...

    • Anonymous commented : Sawatdee Krap ; I will say that I am not an expert on Buddhism. But I have read some very interesting books about it and I would like to post some quotes from "The Teaching of Buddha", by Buddhist Promoting Foundation, Japan. So everyone please feel free to correct me if I am wrong about anything. "The parents should do five things for their children : - avoid doing evil, set an example of good deeds, give them an education, arrange for their marriage, and let them inherit the family wealth at the proper time. If the parents and child follow these rules the family will always live in peace." pp 214. "Third, people should respect old customs and not change them unreasonably, and they should also observe the rules of ceremony and maintain justice." pp. 230 Friends, makes sense to me. My book on the teachings of Budda does not specifically say for the parents to arrange marriage at puberty, but apparently this is what Thailand has been doing for a very long time. "Or students' sex: ``Look at the history, at what age did a Thai girl want to have a husband in the past? When she had her first period! The system of modern education teaches that virginity should be protected until university graduation, and if a woman chooses to lose it before we panic because we think it's such a big problem." - Outspoken writer Lakhana Punvichai in Bangkok Post Real Time, March 28, 2003. "She says men fear her. She says they try to stay away from her free-spoken radius of tough thoughts and liberal lucidity. Now we hear her think, we watch her unravel, and ah, we say those men don't know what they are missing." Sadly, Ms. Lakhana attempts to legitimize casual student sex by comparing student sex to marrying your soul mate and life's partner when you are young. They are not the same at all. For my feelings on this teaching, see my 'Background Info' post. Yes, I am afraid of her, and yes, I do know what I am missing. Cheers!!!

    • Anonymous commented : Hello All ; Another startling cut from the Bangkok Post , July 24, 2003. "Epic Marriage Ends" " Taipei - The 103-year-old wife in the world's longest-lasting marriage has died. Liu Yang-wan from Taiwan was married in 1917 to Liu Yung-yang, who is now 104. Their daughter-in-law said Mrs. Liu died peacefully from natural causes. Their 86 year marriage was the longest registered in the Guiness Book of World Records, beating former American record holders by three years. According to ancient tradition, Liu Yang-wan was sent to live with her future husband's family at the age of 5, to take care of him and do household chores, relatives said. - Reuters." After the "new thinkers" get over their horror, let's take a closer look at this. Apparently, the boy was 6 and the girl was 5 when they were brought together by the familes. As a result of this arrangement, the fabric of the childrens's lives becomes so inter-twined that the very thought of separation becomes UNTHINKABLE. This is a true soul mate. This is so important that I want to say it again : if you can successfully inter-twine the children's lives, the thought of separation becomes UNTHINKABLE. This is what you need to strive for if you want a low divorce rate. Contrast this to our current "wisdom", which strives for independance, self sufficiency, strength, women's rights, men's right's, children's right's, and the whole "dating game", which takes our children's precious hearts and rips them to shreds. The new thinking cannot solve any of today's problems. Rather, it is the cause of today's problems. Who do you think will have a lower divorce rate, the "ancient tradition" mentioned above, or our "new thinking" tradition? I believe things could improve substantially if we try to fuse some of the elements of "ancient tradition" with the rigors and "artificial environments" of modern life. This is entirely possible, but so far our sociologists and cultural leaders (both in the West and in Thailand) have failed to even identify the root cause of the problems. This is why everyone is spinning out of control, and this is why I know that things will continue to get worse, MUCH, MUCH worse before they get better. Cheers!!

    • 20 replies, 16,987 views

    Forum

    Malaysia Muslim get marru in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 09/04/2003, Last updated on: 04/11/2015

    » As we know, in Malaysian Shariah Law, it's not easy to get marry without permission with parents or qualified member in family . But when we think wisely, It's not wrong to get marry in Thailand. It's legal in Islam but illegal for Malaysia Law. They go there to get marry because of certain reasons...

    • sheharade commented : I am Indonesian women...wanna marry a man from india at Thailand but he have wife already. Can I do the wedding under islamic law at bangkok.thailand ? Where I should go ? Pls.if someone can giving me favor ...pls help.me and if thr aniway pls.let me know detaily...thanks alot ...

    • Anonymous commented : Any quality hotels in Thailand would have this services. You can click one of hotel link in Thailand at the home page in Bangkok Post. You can just simply e-mail or call them about their services.

    • 39 replies, 63,949 views

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