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    Forum

    get married in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 10/06/2002, Last updated on: 21/01/2008

    » I want to get married, but a civil wedding, not religious. I am from Spain and we want to come to Thailand for holidays and marry. What do I have to do to find a judge?

    • Anonymous commented : I love a good bit of arrogance :) You have read a web site and now think you know more than people who have done it... Can you enlighten us about where you think we have gone wrong? Are you going to try and tell me that my marriage is not legal? I think you are an interesting person and feel that you should spend more time here.

    • 23 replies, 13,567 views

    Forum

    Is Thai guy a good man to marry??

    By Anonymous, Created on: 30/06/2002, Last updated on: 18/09/2007

    » I met a Thai guy by chance and wonder if I get the right man?? Can any thai men and women give me some advise?? Thanks a lot!!

    • Anonymous commented : I might be guilty of gross generalisation here, but I see too many gay men make a huge deal out of being single. For most other people, being single is a matter of choice because perhaps other things take precedence, like career, studies, family. But for the gay man, being single is like a judgment delivered on his market value. And being single is not so much a matter of 'not having found the right one', but 'not being able to find the right one'. It's a disease that you can't protect yourself against. One Saturday night, you'll be at home, watching taped episodes of Friends, or reading that novel you had forsaken half a month back, and without warning, the Spectre of Singlehood will cast its shadow over you and you're suddenly seized with those familiar pangs of abandonment. Call it what you will: existential crisis, a Jungian shadow, depressive angst, but the fact is that you're being locked out of that colourful procession outside your room where people are holding hands, speaking in the language of birdsong and Spring, and sharing deep, meaningful, ineffable kisses. And the thing about this Spectre of Singlehood is that unlike its skull-headed cousin, he isn't carrying a scythe but a mirror. And in this mirror you examine your reflection for faults. The dangerous thing about the whole affair is that very soon self-pity becomes self-abuse, and your self-esteem takes a beating. We are all outraged by gay-bashing, but we often don't realise that some of the most profound damage is self-inflicted. One of the interesting questions that a friend once asked me was whether there was any contradiction to being both gay and single. I thought it was a flippant inquiry, until I examined the context of his question. What does it mean to be gay in Singapore? We haven't hooked ourselves on to some kind of common cause towards which we can devote our time and energy through political and social activism. In countries like the US, the AIDS epidemic has provided the queer community with a platform in which to achieve both a voice and visibility, the fundamental prerequisites of establishing an 'identity'. The idea of a gay 'community' in Singapore is at best, tenuous -- we know the government doesn't want to recognise us from the simple gesture of rejecting PLU's application for the status of a registered society. Under such seemingly repressive conditions, we turn our gazes towards each other and become more fragmented. And ultimately, our search towards recognition leads us towards one person we call many names: partner, lover, boyfriend, my significant other. In Singapore, couplehood is what often stands for 'community'. Another thing that contributes to our singlehood anxieties is the fact that before we finally sat down and told ourselves that being gay is not a choice but a discovery, we had been leading a life of denial. We had a phantom adolescence, one where faint stirrings were sensed but never duly acknowledged. While hormones chorused during our polytechnic and JC days, we were simply curious bystanders to Valentine's Day rituals of giving flowers, secret-admirer notes slipped into lockers, canteen gossip of who is currently dating whom. After our coming-out turning-point though, we realised another world existed. This kind of awakening could have been galvanised by the Internet, chance encounters, upon stumbling into certain information and literature. We realised we had company. We realised that two men, perfectly masculine in all aspects, who go mountain-biking or swimming or play tennis together, could also share a bedroom. And with this realisation came the urge to erase past shames and the denial of reciprocity, a revisionist 'gay adolescence', which for many gay people happens in their late teens or early twenties (or even later for some). We want to make up for lost time. We want to do all the things we thought we were denied, and top on the list is to find a boyfriend. Or perhaps that's about the only thing on the list. But wanting to love and be loved in return is a fundamental human need (except in the case of gay men it seems to ignore Darwinian biological commonsense). That's the root of the matter isn't it? And no amount of persuasive rhetoric can deny the fact that being in the embrace of someone is better than staring at your computer screen at a 'Men on the Net' website with a hand in your boxers. It is an impulse which poets describe, philosophers analyse, but which nobody is able to explain. But I'm talking about pitting singlehood against couplehood, and privileging the latter over the former. One is not a higher form of the other, is not its fulfilment and destination. The relationship between the two is not hierarchical but dynamic. Being single should not be defined as the absence of an 'other half' -- it denigrates you. When we invest our happiness in couplehood, we deny ourselves the ability and the right to create our own happiness. Of course all of this goes against a wave of evidence manufactured by Hollywood, sentimental ballads, Hallmark cards, and the impenetrable facade of lovers. People in love seem to project this sense of self-sufficiency bordering on invulnerability. They have this glow, this spring in their step, and when you call a friend who's in his honeymoon period of couplehood, you hear a purring voice that's smug and dreamy, where the subtext reads, 'how are you, I've just had my prostate massaged and it was sheer bliss'. But if we can somehow get beyond all these 'someone-has-the-key-to-my-happiness' yearnings, then we'd realise how underrated solitude is. Being single can also be a state of grace. There's the introspection bit, the re-prioritising of affections, the calling up of friends you haven't kept in touch with, the family bonding, a sensitivity to one's surroundings. Somebody single can even have a certain glow on his face, and even though it won't be a post-coital one, it is a glow nevertheless. Perhaps one day, us singles will finally be recognised not as people waiting in the wings for their turn, but as people who have simply chosen a lifestyle we are comfortable with. And that doesn't make us frigid or cold or emotionless, it's just that our loves are multiple and dispersed over so many other things: poetry, jazz, rock-climbing, our pet dog, our ten-year old niece. Perhaps gay men will stop whining about being left on the shelf because honey, life isn't a supermarket and it's ridiculous to think that you're worth as much as a roll of paper towels or a jar of pickles. Well, as for me, I'm happy enough being where I am. My parents are in good health. I can have ugly, sloppy days in the company of close friends and not subject myself to the tyranny of 'first impressions'. And the best thing about friends is that what is past becomes history, and not some kind of baggage. For true friends very rarely keep small scores. Someone might have just gotten hitched to his eighth boyfriend, but I have just finished watching videos of Fellini's La Strada and some Kurosawa shorts. At the end of the day, it's about self-actualisation. If being attached would mean that you'll become a better person, a happier person, then you should go ahead and aggressively pursue that other half. Me, I'm not waiting for anyone, and I want to say it as a statement of fact rather than a resigned fatalistic sigh. It's possible that someone out there is waiting for me though, which is quite a thought. But before I let him through the front door he'd better be able to complete my favourite phrase when I prompt him: 'Quietness without?--Loneliness'. And understand and appreciate what it means. To me. To him. To us.

    • Anonymous commented : hi suzy Please always remember this, A man is a man. We are the same regardless of the place we were born. Some of us are good and some of us are bad, many times we are super duper bad. Don't judge any guy with the place they were born. Have fun Thai guy

    • 14 replies, 14,207 views

    Forum

    its not always right that

    By Anonymous, Created on: 20/12/2002, Last updated on: 12/08/2010

    » actually i have a thai pretty girlfriend who being my girl for a year now. and i think thai women are serious and good one bcoz of i've known thai friends both men and women and they're not think about your money in their brain! now a days, they can work and earn as much as men can do. don't look...

    • Anonymous commented : hi mate i fallen in love witha beautiful thai lady and i travel back to thailand in 3 weeks i want to bring her back to the u.k where she would have a better life as i have an o.k job which would support us both, i am wondering how to get my girlfriend into the country as i have read some dodgy and horrific stories. I told my girlfriend i would get her back but i need some real good advise how too , i am 32 and fon is 31. It makes sense as there is not much work for western men, i'm totally in love with fon ,can you give some knowledge , thanks ed

    • Anonymous commented : Hi there, My girlfriend and I are about to apply for a Fiancé visa early next year and would appreciate if you could help us in any way with the following questions; 1. Do we need to prove our engagement? (If so how do we do this as we are not formally engaged as such, although I have bought her an engagement ring.) 2. What documents do we need to present to UK embassy in BKK? (We already gave them a mountain of documents for this particular ‘tourist visa’ she is currently on, do you think we need to provide them all again? And if so, is there any other particular documents required as we will be applying for a fiancé visa?) 3. What questions is the embassy staff likely to ask her? (Her English is good, she has no problem in answering in all truth, but she is a little apprehensive as to any questions she may need to be prepared for.) 4. What is the Fee? Can she pay be cashier cheque or does it have to be cash? (I appreciate this is more than likely to increase by the time we apply.) 5. How long for the interview? Does she need to get to the embassy early as before and queue? (for her current visa like I said earlier although we got there at 5.30 am she was in and out within forty five minutes of the doors opening at 7.30am. We picked up her visa at 3pm three days later.) Is this the case also with a fiancé visa? 6. For her to get all this information so as not to waste time and not to mention lots of money its important for her to get as much as possible. Do you know if she goes to the embassy to gain the above information if she will have to go in the morning or afternoon? (everything I’m sure you will agree is very vague to say the least with Thai/farang relationships when applying for visas) Do you know of any friends or web sites that can help us? 7. Someone mentioned to us somewhere along the way we need to have had a relationship two years, is this correct? ( We will have known each other two years this coming February. If all fails we plan to marry in Thailand in August 06 and go down another road of visa form filling (can’t wait!)

    • 27 replies, 36,653 views

    Forum

    Getting married

    By Anonymous, Created on: 04/04/2003, Last updated on: 18/04/2006

    » I have a girl friend from Thailand whom I would like to marry. I am concerned though about the differences between Thai culture and my own. (USA) I often don't understand her. We lack intimacy in our relationship which she doesn't seem concerned about. She says it is because I am not Thai. I...

    • Anonymous commented : i agree i am 27 my self and have a thaigirlfriend my self we have bean together since 19 may this year i am a norwegian and the culture is big difference betwin us. i am return her 8 april next year and we wil wisit her home in chiangrai so we are staying with her parents for 1 month before we wil travel down to jomtien beach and sta another 1 1/2 month there before we wil wisit my home in norway and she stay there for another 3 month before we are thinking on marrige you have to try to understand her culture shes after all from thailand and ou have to prepaire for some cultureshock its not that easy to allways understand a thaiwoman i talk with my girlfriend everyday and about another thing never kiss hug or hold hands in public that much have i lurn i now we do this in europe and other coutnrys but we have to understand them to good luck with her:)

    • 18 replies, 7,812 views

    Forum

    Malaysia Muslim get marru in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 09/04/2003, Last updated on: 04/11/2015

    » As we know, in Malaysian Shariah Law, it's not easy to get marry without permission with parents or qualified member in family . But when we think wisely, It's not wrong to get marry in Thailand. It's legal in Islam but illegal for Malaysia Law. They go there to get marry because of certain reasons...

    • Anonymous commented : Hi if anyone out there has experienced getting an 'express' married in a Mosque/Masjid in Thailand kindly assist us. We just want a very simple marriage. Thank you.

    • Anonymous commented : could you please send us detailed info of the organiser in S'pore? Thanks.

    • Anonymous commented : To all people that have posted on this thread, Like you all, my fiancee and I plan to get married in Thailand due to the fact we cannot obtain parental permission here in Malaysia. It would be a great help if any of you could post your experiences, or provide any information/links that may assist us in our planning - especially contact details of the mentioned organisers in Singapore. Thank you. CJ

    • Anonymous commented : I plan to have a surprise to my girl friend that propose to her when we have vacation in Phuket. Before that, I want to know whether I can get a legal Marriage Cert in Phuket if both of us are foreigners. Any procedure? Pls advise. Thank you very much!

    • 39 replies, 63,949 views

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