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  • OPINION

    Four behaviours that need to stop now

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 30/01/2015

    » I don't fool myself into believing that anything I write in this space will transform an entire country. Of course, I'm not trying to start any revolutions here. All I've ever wanted is for certain people to stop annoying me with their bothersome behaviours. I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?  

  • OPINION

    The blunder games

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 28/11/2014

    » It was just another day in the Capitol of Bangkok, and I was spending the morning honing my archery skills in the park like I usually do. After hours of practicing how to shoot a bow and arrow, I realised I was famished.

  • OPINION

    Dear police officers who were recently transferred to inactive posts,

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 07/11/2014

    » How are you doing fellas? Normally I wouldn’t write to you because I figured you might be too busy doing your jobs – you know, taking bribes, looking the other way towards illegal activity, and all that good stuff.

  • OPINION

    Tom yum 2.0

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 10/10/2014

    » Forgive me if this week's column is riddled with errors, but I'm sobbing uncontrollably while writing this, and the blurry vision from my tears is making it difficult to see what's being typed on this page.

  • OPINION

    Songkran Symphony

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 11/04/2014

    » Despite how many request I’ve made to turn off the water supply,

  • OPINION

    Technology unplugged

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 15/11/2013

    » Among the attendees was Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google, who offered his expertise on the power of the internet and its boundless future potential (operating under Android, of course). Besides highlighting Google's vision of a world with total connectivity, Schmidt commented on how technology has enhanced Thai politics in recent years.

  • OPINION

    Science — 1; Dummies — 0

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 11/10/2013

    » Let’s start this week’s column off with a little visual exercise, shall we? Close your eyes and imagine the most scrumptious thing you can think of. No, I didn’t mean boobies, you gutter rat! Think of a delicious plate of food, a dish that titillates your taste buds, an item that you would request as your last meal if you plan to become a death-row prisoner sometime soon.

  • OPINION

    Woman can haz da branes and bewtee!

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 02/08/2013

    » Like, ermahgerd! I was totes chilling with my girls last week, just talking about how glitter is our all-time favourite colour, when something super cool happened! Someone found this thing with words written all over it - I think it was called an "art-tickle" or something. Dunno, it's probs a fancy Latin term for the kind of art that makes you laugh like you're being tickled! Teehee!

  • OPINION

    If Bangkok was redesigned to reflect reality

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 14/06/2013

    » For far too long now, Bangkok has tried to keep up with modern societies by implementing foolish systems like democracy, laws and traffic lights. Well, spoiler alert: It's just not working! Instead of wasting time trying to blanket the capital with a "one city fits all" mould, why don't we just restructure Bangkok into a place that suits our current reality? For starters, we could...

  • OPINION

    The joke's on us!

    Guru, Sumati Sivasiamphai, Published on 05/04/2013

    » Since Monday started off with April Fools' Day, it only seems fitting to neatly tie up the week with more ridiculous gags. Or I could offer an 800-word analysis of the 24.71 per cent market synergy monetizing the bottom line affecting 200-and-ninety-eleven shares leveraging commodities. But considering I just strung a bunch of random smart-sounding words and numbers together, it's obvious no one would want to read that.

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