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    Is Thai guy a good man to marry??

    By Anonymous, Created on: 30/06/2002, Last updated on: 18/09/2007

    » I met a Thai guy by chance and wonder if I get the right man?? Can any thai men and women give me some advise?? Thanks a lot!!

    • Anonymous commented : Again, it would depend on the educational level and worldly experience of the individual. Most men will expect his brides to retain her virginity if dowry and family members are involved in obtaining the bride. However, in today Thailand, Thai men are like men everywhere are looking for good wives. The public displacement of affection between men and women are more open in the cities, but in the rural area conservative relationship is still observe. Most pre-loving making rituals are still practiced within the house/front porch and not publicly displaced. Most Thai people will assume that your relationship had been consummated when both of you displacing your relationship publicly like holding and scratching of each others' hands.

    • 14 replies, 14,207 views

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    Getting married

    By Anonymous, Created on: 04/04/2003, Last updated on: 18/04/2006

    » I have a girl friend from Thailand whom I would like to marry. I am concerned though about the differences between Thai culture and my own. (USA) I often don't understand her. We lack intimacy in our relationship which she doesn't seem concerned about. She says it is because I am not Thai. I...

    • Anonymous commented : well i don't know you gf, i can only talk about my owen exsperience, i have a girlfriend today that i have total intemativ whit she tell me all and when we are together we talk about everything and we can joke and talk about serius thing's to. i fell so close to her and are whirly happy that i have meet her, before i had a girl that, well in someway told me but only what she want me to know, i don't think the thai culture is more close than ouers i come from denmark, but maybe i don't know how long you have now'n your girlfriend but maybe she just don't feel secuer whit you yet, talk whit her about it and give her a secret from you life maybe she open up to you. nordman

    • 18 replies, 7,812 views

    Forum

    Pre-Marital Sex. - Part I.

    By Anonymous, Created on: 18/06/2003, Last updated on: 26/04/2007

    » Hello Mr. Rooster ; I moved this discussion to this more appropriate thread. Mr. Rooster wrote : "People are like animals, and their sexual drives will involve some types of pre-marital sex. So prostitution will be there to provide needed service. " The sexual urge is indeed extraordinarily powerful,...

    • Anonymous commented : Rooster wrote : "They should be able to choose whether to start a family or get an education first." I agree 100%! Rooster wrote : "I do not think that anything of significant will change soon in my lifetime. " I agree. No one has the power to stop the events that are coming, nor should anyone try. Things will continue to get worse, MUCH worse. Only by going through the fire to come will we see the sunrise on the other side. My only reason for posting is to reach the few people who have a gut feeling that things in the world are terribly wrong, but cannot see the cause. These are the only people who are ready to listen and understand. All the apparent madness in the world can be understood when it is looked at from only one perspective, and that is : "How many souls have been lost today?" When you look at social norms and trends today from this perspective, you can suddenly understand all the apparent madness in the world and where it is coming from. I don't recommend that anyone do anything to resist the unstoppable flow of events. Resisting will only delay the sunrise. Rooster wrote : "So those who want to marry or having sex with 10 years old will have to waite awhile longer or get a single bullet. Fascinating for me is that I never said anything about having sex at 10 years old. I only said marry. I don't think two people married at 10 years old would have any interest in sex (I could be wrong). Actually what I imagine would happen is that if two young people got married, and with good support (not force) from the families, they would get to know each other over a long period of innocent childhood play and interaction. I think we would all agree that getting to know each other is an important pre-requisite and basis for any long term, meaningful relationship. Even more important, then they would have each other and not be alone (like our children are) during the hormone turbo-charged and vulnerable and self-conscious personality and sexually formative years. Two people bonded this way could resist a lot of society evils, like drugs, gangs, depression, suicide, violence. It could actually be a very powerful and beautiful thing, and not perverted as you suggest. I also believe this would solve a lot of problems with our youth, but it is up to courageous PhD social scientists to say. I always wonder why no one questions the fact that we need sex education today in schools, when we didn't need it for thousands of years. Maybe this is why. Our children are alone during the most sensitive years of their lives, and then we wonder when they make bad choices. It was not this way before. Clearly visible for everyone to see, our current system of selecting a mate (dating/love) does not work! Everyone quotes divorce rates of 50+%, but I say those statistics are nonsense, and our divorce rate is actually 99.9%! Why do I say this? I consider EVERY sexual relationship that ends to be a divorce. In other words, if two people are having a sexual relationship, then in God's eyes they should be married. This is exactly what common law marriage is all about. If that relationship ends, it is no less of a divorce because they did not get married, although it does not show up in divorce statistics. Put another way, let's say that marriage is outlawed. If no-one is getting married, then the divorce rate would fall to ZERO also! This appears to suggest that every relationship is wonderful, when in fact the reality could be very different. The picture for marriages is bleak, but the picture for singles is equally bleak. About one million or more teenage girls become pregnant every year, at a rate of 3000 per day, 80% of whom are unmarried. Out of this I million, about 500,000, decide to keep their baby, and 450,000 are aborted (or ? murdered). 100,000 decide to deliver and give the baby up for adoption. In 1950 the incidence of birth from unmarried teenagers was only 13.9%, but in 1985 it increased to 59%. In 1985 alone, 10 million cases of chlamydia, 2 million cases of gonorrhea, I million venereal warts, 0.5 million genital herpes and 90,000 syphilis were diagnosed. Not a pretty picture. So getting married does not work, and staying single does not work. Our current system does not work! It was not this way before. Cheers!!

    • Anonymous commented : Hello All ; Another startling cut from the Bangkok Post , July 24, 2003. "Epic Marriage Ends" " Taipei - The 103-year-old wife in the world's longest-lasting marriage has died. Liu Yang-wan from Taiwan was married in 1917 to Liu Yung-yang, who is now 104. Their daughter-in-law said Mrs. Liu died peacefully from natural causes. Their 86 year marriage was the longest registered in the Guiness Book of World Records, beating former American record holders by three years. According to ancient tradition, Liu Yang-wan was sent to live with her future husband's family at the age of 5, to take care of him and do household chores, relatives said. - Reuters." After the "new thinkers" get over their horror, let's take a closer look at this. Apparently, the boy was 6 and the girl was 5 when they were brought together by the familes. As a result of this arrangement, the fabric of the childrens's lives becomes so inter-twined that the very thought of separation becomes UNTHINKABLE. This is a true soul mate. This is so important that I want to say it again : if you can successfully inter-twine the children's lives, the thought of separation becomes UNTHINKABLE. This is what you need to strive for if you want a low divorce rate. Contrast this to our current "wisdom", which strives for independance, self sufficiency, strength, women's rights, men's right's, children's right's, and the whole "dating game", which takes our children's precious hearts and rips them to shreds. The new thinking cannot solve any of today's problems. Rather, it is the cause of today's problems. Who do you think will have a lower divorce rate, the "ancient tradition" mentioned above, or our "new thinking" tradition? I believe things could improve substantially if we try to fuse some of the elements of "ancient tradition" with the rigors and "artificial environments" of modern life. This is entirely possible, but so far our sociologists and cultural leaders (both in the West and in Thailand) have failed to even identify the root cause of the problems. This is why everyone is spinning out of control, and this is why I know that things will continue to get worse, MUCH, MUCH worse before they get better. Cheers!!

    • 20 replies, 16,987 views

    Forum

    Learning about Thai ladies in marriage and culture

    By Anonymous, Created on: 23/08/2003, Last updated on: 21/10/2007

    » I would like to learn about the Thai lady in marriage and the Thai culture. The reason for this, is that after literally travelling the world for many years, during work commitments, and meeting along the way many ladies for serious relationships. I met along the way a lady from Thailand. We met many...

    • Anonymous commented : Why are you worry about their relationship? If you valued recent western version of marriage, then that is your prerogative. The late Western values and version of marriage caused increase divorce and separation in Thailand and in their home countries. It is this type of foreign values that help caused the degradation in Thai society. One version of Christian religion of the Mormon faith does not belief in the same values as the other Chirstian faiths. They were suppressed by the mainstream Christian religions. However, there are pockets of Mormon communities in mostly Western US that still continued to practice polygamy according to the bible. However, ...let face the true fact. It is not about religion or culture. Today, it is all about women' feelings and how they viewed institution of marriage - which mostly influenced by foreign cultural fads like a bad fashion for family.

    • Anonymous commented : Well, I think you should not confuse Hispanic or Arabic cultures with Thai. No Thai women do not cut your foods for you at the table. Thai foods are pre-cutted and usually prepared for single bit sizes. There are usually variety of foods serving at dinner. Thai women do not walk behind their husbands either. Usually, you can view their relationship as high and low. For example: husband's head is highest in the family as respect so she should not touch him above his shoulder or joking around him publicly. Public displaces of affections usually are not done...unlike young Thais of today. Oh, many wealthy men are still keeping minor wives in the same large home or multi-buildings. Since most Thai estates are with high fences for privacy, most people do not see what is going on inside. Thai women do not like to be embarrassed publicly or among their social circles - so what ever going on outside their home should be kept separated from their homes. You should only to remember to keep everything under the roof and be very discreet.

    • 27 replies, 16,641 views

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    family visa

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2004, Last updated on: 12/09/2006

    » When the Thai government will allow foreigners with Thai spouse and children to own a one year visa without the need to travel out of the country every 3 month or to show 800 thousands bahts in a bank account, this is very unfair and even most of the Thais don't earn this sum per year, why this discrimination...

    • Anonymous commented : Rooster, you sounded very narrow minded. I would forgive you if your knowledge and educational back ground is limited. What on earth made you think that foreigners westerners in particular will gain priviledge through his marriage to Thais? The answer is Zero in case you have no idea about what is written in the constitution...! You also referred likely complaining that the old migrated Chinese, Indian and Muslim today have the total major economic control of this nation. Don't you realize what sort of hard works and difficulties those generation had been through? You need to drop your old blinded conservative thought. Wake up! Stop being so pessimistic towards WHOSE who are not genuine Thai like you. What is the big deal my friend.

    • Anonymous commented : Ian You finally show me that you’re ignorant about Thai history and way of life. Did I say anything about Carabao anywhere? It’s Caravan that I was talking about. The first and genuine group of people who fought the corrupt authorities in sixties but had to flee to Kumpucha (Cambodia today) for years until there were offered an amnesty. New generation don’t know about this band because they have never commercialised their music like everyone else. I guess they are still as poor as they used to be forty years ago. That to teach you something about our history, mate. Oh! It would be a good idea to go back living in caves instead of living in an overpriced accommodation somewhere in Sydney.

    • 65 replies, 24,845 views

    Forum

    Marry in Thailand 1st then Apply for Immigrant Visa to USA

    By Anonymous, Created on: 15/05/2004, Last updated on: 23/09/2007

    » I'm an US citizen living here in Northern California. I plan to get married sometime next year in Thailand to a Thai woman who works as a registered nurse, as she plans on moving here in the US afterwards. I researched the US consulate in Bangkok and US Immigration (USCIS.gov) and sort of understand...

    • Anonymous commented : i dont know about the u.s, laws today, but when i got married over there the u.s. recognized thai marriges. i have also heard that if you bring her to the states and get married, that she can remain until her visa is approved or disapproved. each embassy rep. will tell you something different. it's a hard row to hoe so locks of luck bill

    • 17 replies, 8,925 views

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    Dowery

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/05/2004, Last updated on: 09/03/2007

    » Hello and thanks to all that responded to my last questions. Those of you who have been following my last questions thanks. I am set to marry in Nov or Dec and I talked to her family. My dowery is set at 2 milllion bath and I already gave a 200,000 bath strater to show that I was interested. What...

    • Anonymous commented : I read Rooster’s commenting on Gina on the above and think this man is sexist and arrogant with his one-sided opinions, a lot of times with no proves. The choice of words in his explanations proves that he has had a high education, but the way he expresses it is low and cheap. No need to explain more. Let’s get back to the subject. Dowry is not a rule. It’s just a tradition that people have hold from the past, the past that Thailand was (and is) an agricultural society… When a Thai woman is married, two things happen. One, she moves out of her family. Two, she becomes a member of her husband’s family. This moving in and out doesn’t only mean the bride’s family is losing her as a beloved daughter, but they are also losing one labor that will work in a field. That means everybody in the bride’s family will have to work harder in order to gain the same amount of crops. And in the opposite, the groom’s family gains one more labor. To be fair, the price of the lost labor needs to be paid. (Please notice: getting married in this context doesn’t have anything to do with love.) It is all about economy. The price of the dowry is based on the value of the woman. The strong, smart plus beautiful=high price. Lazy, ugly, and has bad breath=low price. It’s all about demand – supply. It’s that logical. (In a way, I think it’s universal.) Another reason, agree with Rooster, the man has to prove his manhood that he can take care of his family and has ability to make their (Thai) dream comes true. With all these reasons, the dowry system existed and worked. 2005, life styles have changed. The woman whom you ask to marry with is no longer a farmer’s daughter. Nobody thinks anymore about the lost of labor in a family. However, the tradition is still in practice (yes, because it is a “tradition.”) It’s not unusual that any tradition that has lost its connection and meaning becomes a nonsense practice—especially when people in the society take advantage of the tradition to feed their greed. Plus today, the value of “goodness” has changed to “richness;” things get messed up like this, it’s easy to see the tradition itself as bad. To me, the tradition isn’t bad, but the way the society has changed and the way people handle it, make it seem bad. It is up to your judgment, I think. If the tradition makes sense to you, support it (with your good reason.) If it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense. Nobody can force it to make sense. In my opinion, culture is an organic thing. It has to change over time by people’s values and lifestyle. Culture has to serve the society’s needs. Now, Thailand is at a turning point of its cultures. There are clashes of cultures everywhere. Old cultures seem to be conflicting with the new. No one to blame. It is the obligation people here have to live with. And, perhaps try to create and adapt the good values as they can do.

    • 61 replies, 27,697 views

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