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    Canadian Marring and living in Thailand (Troubled, Culture Differences)

    By Anonymous, Created on: 17/05/2004, Last updated on: 18/05/2007

    » Hello fello readers. I am a Canadian living in Thailand and was not expecting to meet and and get ingaged to a Thai women it just happened. But my problem is that like many times 9 out of 10 times my opinion does not matter or what I would like to do. And when we do plan to do something together,...

    • Anonymous commented : he will have both. So is this fair to people who plan on living in thailand when they get older. thank you for your time.

    • 20 replies, 10,543 views

    Forum

    Dowery

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/05/2004, Last updated on: 09/03/2007

    » Hello and thanks to all that responded to my last questions. Those of you who have been following my last questions thanks. I am set to marry in Nov or Dec and I talked to her family. My dowery is set at 2 milllion bath and I already gave a 200,000 bath strater to show that I was interested. What...

    • Anonymous commented : what you want to pay. It is fair to refuse to pay anything but you must accept that she may leave you. If she does leave then how real was the relationship anyway. If you do refuse, how fair are you being to her and her family. I think refusing is like telling a western girl she cannot wear a white dress. I did refuse at first and everything was going to go ahead although I knew my fiance was shy about this in front of the family. I then negotiated a settlement that suited all of us. I did put money on the table and everyone was happy. I do not know your situation or hers but I doubt that you would be causing offence if you put at least 100,000 on the table. This is based on a rather simplistic opinion that if she is worth more then you would have been made more aware of the background to all this. I think that a family with a high educational background are better at explaining their own culture than I am. If you can make it more then you will make your wife happy even if you have already agreed what the money is to be used for. You should do something for the family. You are stepping into their world but that does not mean that they should ignore the fact that she is stepping into yours. When I went through this and kept getting told that "it is our culture" I kept pointing out that I think this is fine but why should my culture be forgotten. I come from a culture where the girls family pay for everything at a wedding!!! My wedding cost over 100,000 and I had to swallow that so every time someone tried to make me feel mean I offered to let her family pay for the wedding.

    • Anonymous commented : gains one more labor. To be fair, the price of the lost labor needs to be paid. (Please notice: getting married in this context doesn’t have anything to do with love.) It is all about economy. The price of the dowry is based on the value of the woman. The strong, smart plus beautiful=high price. Lazy, ugly, and has bad breath=low price. It’s all about demand – supply. It’s that logical. (In a way, I think it’s universal.) Another reason, agree with Rooster, the man has to prove his manhood that he can take care of his family and has ability to make their (Thai) dream comes true. With all these reasons, the dowry system existed and worked. 2005, life styles have changed. The woman whom you ask to marry with is no longer a farmer’s daughter. Nobody thinks anymore about the lost of labor in a family. However, the tradition is still in practice (yes, because it is a “tradition.”) It’s not unusual that any tradition that has lost its connection and meaning becomes a nonsense practice—especially when people in the society take advantage of the tradition to feed their greed. Plus today, the value of “goodness” has changed to “richness;” things get messed up like this, it’s easy to see the tradition itself as bad. To me, the tradition isn’t bad, but the way the society has changed and the way people handle it, make it seem bad. It is up to your judgment, I think. If the tradition makes sense to you, support it (with your good reason.) If it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense. Nobody can force it to make sense. In my opinion, culture is an organic thing. It has to change over time by people’s values and lifestyle. Culture has to serve the society’s needs. Now, Thailand is at a turning point of its cultures. There are clashes of cultures everywhere. Old cultures seem to be conflicting with the new. No one to blame. It is the obligation people here have to live with. And, perhaps try to create and adapt the good values as they can do.

    • 61 replies, 27,697 views

    Forum

    British Embassy in Bangkok

    By Anonymous, Created on: 05/10/2004, Last updated on: 25/02/2011

    » In March, my Thai partner wanted to visit me in London. Before granting a visa, the Embassy wanted a mountain of paperwork including proof of my income, whether or not I woned my own home and a whole lot of other things. At this stage, I have to say that we have many controversial issues in the UK...

    • Anonymous commented : also her integrity. Lets be fair , no matter how cute they are and how great the body language and general loved up chit chat is, a Thai girl with an older guy is usually a relationship based on security and financial gain. As for the Embassy in BKK, it's a damn tough job dealing with so many ridiculous visa apps, and I respect anyone who would take on such a task day in day out. BR Rich

    • 64 replies, 66,876 views

    Forum

    stereotype towards interracial marriage in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/11/2004, Last updated on: 01/01/2008

    » I am a Thai man born and grew up in Bangkok educated overseas totally disagree with the stereotype. On the contrary, I have always admired and respected those indigenous Thais women whose dark brown - tan skin blessed by the nature from their hard works shouldering gracefully to their parents’...

    • 32 replies, 18,832 views

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    Thai Divorce law

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/12/2004, Last updated on: 09/01/2009

    » I heard from a farang that under Thai law men can divorce women in two days. But for a woman, it takes two years. The reasoning being that women are thought of as temperamental creatures, prone to wild mood swings, who need plenty of time to calm down...

    • Anonymous commented : Ian, Come on....let's be fair to Thai women in general. It is natural for any female., American, English, French, Black or any Asian girls to be tempermental when her husband goes out on her. The timeing of taking two years and the compensation he claimed to ease her down for a divorce is not always true. I am pretty sure that your friend must have run into another funky chick who teased him a temporary different sexual enjoyment that stupidly caused him to divorce his good one at home. Well, he was lucky that she only settled 60% because the new one he has might just suck all. Waint and see.

    • Anonymous commented : e must have been an extremely fair and reasonable woman that raised what she could and gave him 40%. It could not have been 'his' and must have been hers. I know that the property I have here that obviously has to be in my wife's name as it is illegal for me to own property is going to be left behind if the worst happens. Personally I do not think that I will suffer worse than I did when I divorced in England and lost everything.

    • 49 replies, 65,617 views

    Forum

    enry into the u.k. for thai girlfriends/partners

    By Anonymous, Created on: 02/01/2005, Last updated on: 07/06/2006

    » I started out trying to help my Thai employee (with a British passport) to bring her twenty two year old daughter to the U.K. for a family visit. Thought it would be a breeze. Mother rents a single room so I offered my family home for daughter to stay in during visit. I've heard stories about the...

    • Anonymous commented : I have read a fair bit on this forum & am concerned.. My Thai fiancee(36) has her 'fiancee visa' interview in a couple of weeks & i will be flying out to be with her. She does not earn much, but i do have sufficient funds to support her if she were to get to the UK. If she 'WERE' to get a visa, then i will bring her back with me to the UK. From what i have read, i am not holding up much hope. But there are a couple of questions i have before going out to Thailand. 1) Is there any other information, other than everything that was requested, that it is worth me taking out. I supplied all Photo's & SMS's & any evidence i had, to the date of the application & I will be taking all evidence i have & updated evidence with me. 2) With regard to the corruption within the embassy, has anyone had experience of this & if so what sort of amounts have people paid. Do the embassy people ask you, or do you have to offer it to them? I need to prepare for this in case this comes up. Thanks in advance for any responses. Cliff PS: feel free to email direct if sensitive info is not wanted to be made public.

    • 13 replies, 7,030 views

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    divorce and marriage law in thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 23/04/2005, Last updated on: 12/07/2007

    » can any one advise me the following matter. a friend of mine will be getting married to his thai fiancee in 12 days time in thailand. what i would like to know is if the marriage should sadly break down and then his wife goes back to thailand after say they have lived in england for about 6 months...

    • Anonymous commented : ry. However, it would be more fair if those complainers know that there are always two sides of a coin.

    • Anonymous commented : iage then its 50% which seems fair enough to me. But I think if you marry in Thailand you can divorce in the UK then UK rules apply do you both have to agree to this or could I say that I want a divorce in Thailand under Thai law, any one out there help me cheers, Mike

    • 66 replies, 27,286 views

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