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    Learning about Thai ladies in marriage and culture

    By Anonymous, Created on: 23/08/2003, Last updated on: 21/10/2007

    » I would like to learn about the Thai lady in marriage and the Thai culture. The reason for this, is that after literally travelling the world for many years, during work commitments, and meeting along the way many ladies for serious relationships. I met along the way a lady from Thailand. We met many...

    • Anonymous commented : uld make sure to give B100.00 baht to each children in the family before you leave; it would be their saving money or candy money. The amount of money giving to older adults is often unnecessary, but it would depending on your generosity.

    • 27 replies, 16,641 views

    Forum

    Dowery

    By Anonymous, Created on: 26/05/2004, Last updated on: 09/03/2007

    » Hello and thanks to all that responded to my last questions. Those of you who have been following my last questions thanks. I am set to marry in Nov or Dec and I talked to her family. My dowery is set at 2 milllion bath and I already gave a 200,000 bath strater to show that I was interested. What...

    • Anonymous commented : rs wedding. He paid a million baht worth of gold, a million baht worth of diamond sets. (Rings, necklaces earrings etc) diamond studded Rolex. Other gifts. And a large sum of cash. 700+ guests (oddly including many senior police) at one of the best hotels in Bangkok. They are by any standards a wealthy family. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned in this discussion is that wealthy families give back the Dowry. They did with my fiancés big sister. Even though he is from a wealthy family as well. They are not as rich as these lot. It’s all about face. To be seen to not need the dowry gains face. Although somewhat insulting. Firstly one must present at least a million baht. Then your family is not perceived as being wealthy enough so it’s given back. Funny old system. To the guy who’s been quoted 2 million. Unless she’s Royal in which case they would not be introducing a foreigner to the family. So you can cancel that one out. The only reason would be if she belonged to senior of the main 3 Police, Army, government (criminal organizations that run Thailand) it which case the dowry likely given back. Figures are difficult but if the family is not clearly “Hi So” High Society 500,000 baht would be good place to “Cap" Thai dowry’s. Also find out what family and friends paid of equal status. 40,000 seems to be about normal in most case that i've asked. 440,000 is another price that’s kicked around. Think its to do with the price of gold that is in some cases matched. Personally I’m thinking about a million baht but in my case the mother has already decided “which” house to give us. Hope I’ve got it right ;-)

    • 61 replies, 27,697 views

    Forum

    getting divorced my mail.

    By Anonymous, Created on: 13/06/2004, Last updated on: 22/01/2008

    » I am Thai woman. I got married American about 1 and half years ago in Thailand. Now I want to get divorced and he doesn't want to fly here to give me divorced. He would like me to send him money for the ticket, hotel and food for a week in Thailand. And that will cost me alot of money. I have talked...

    • Anonymous commented : lculate the cost at about 200 baht to 500 baht per head. The traditional wedding ceremony will take place at her home in the morning before noon with family members and important guests. Then the merit giving and Buddha service at about 10:00 AM to 11:00 AM. The monks will eat and give holly water than leave by noon. They will invite 5, 7, 9 monks. It would depend on the availability of monks in the area and or the status of her family. You will have to pay someone to drive them over to her house. They would make gifts (usually household items) for each monks with money donation too. Each guest or each family will make about 1,000 baht gift or more, or they may bring other none monetary gifts. It would depend on their relationships with your fiance's family. I would not bring him 100,000 in cash. You need to give him bank cashier check and make a enlarge copy to show at the wedding reception. You can make a color copy at Kinko at 8 x 12 or larger. You can bring about $5,000 in $100 denomination. You can open an account with ATM card at Bank of America in Bangkok, so that you could manage the account while you are in USA also. This would be your spending account in Thailand. You can withdraw in Thai baht at the ATM machine to pay for wedding expenses. There is no need to rent wedding clothes. It is ok for you to get marry in other than black western suit and tie. She needs to custom make her traditional Thai silk dresses. NO, I would not give them anymore money. Since it is appeared that they will keep this money. If they are going to rebuild their house, than you could offer to help since you will be living their sometimes. If she is able to work in USA, she could sent them money later. Or she can give them some of her allowance.

    • Anonymous commented : me some amount like 1Million bahts. We discussed further so that I could understand that it's more than "buying cattle" and she told me that her family would give back the dowry. I took some time to think about it and had many things coming to mind: thinking of robbery... then considering that even from French standards of salary, it could take years to an engineer to save that much money. Also considering that (from what she explained me) in thailand, the family of the groom would help him get that much money... but my family won't (and can't) help. ...and I also need to count on myself for paying (50% of) the organisation of the wedding, which shall (additionally?) include many plane tickets. But I understood her point and resolved that if I have to do it, so I shall. Then, the next time we discussed that, she told me that it should be something like 2 or 3 million bahts!!! there are limits to my bank accounts and this is crazy, even if she claims that it will be given back. So, I saw many posts encouraging or discouraging the dowry. I have already chosen that I will give a dowry. BUT!!!! consider this: I have spent 8 months in BKK working 70 hours per week (in average). Now I have been spending 15 months without vacation in some other European country. I am not poor but I am not rich. I don't own a house. I take part in the cleaning, laundry, cooking and I treat her as my equal. I have good manners and I am respectful of her beliefs/culture/family. Can one still just reply with a plain "if you love her, just pay the dowry"?

    • 21 replies, 11,466 views

    Forum

    Legality in marrage to THAI MAN .. /??

    By Anonymous, Created on: 10/01/2005, Last updated on: 03/08/2007

    » hello I am an american woman who plans on getting married to a thai man what do I need to do before marrage ?? i also at this point do not have a visa and whish to live with him in thailand . I have no idea how to do any of this . any and all help would be great . thanks so much khob khun mak...

    • Anonymous commented : es a deposit of about 800.000 baht for 3 months in a thai bank. You can always ask from immigration officials. i have found the best service to be in tourist areas like Pattaya or Bangkok. The worst service was in Kanchanaburi and Nong Khai. To marry you have to show paper that you are not married in your home country and propably translate it into thai by local notary. The are lots of agencies helping to do that, try to pick those ones which actually hire members of thai lawyers association since in Thailand anyone can appear as a lawyer. As a foreigner you will face some legal procedures, but believe me, normally you get through the legal hurdles quite easily - when you have money to pay for the services. Doing things legally in Thailand always takes 3times more but its worth it. Keep your money on your bank account, your flat under your name and so on. First some might say that its impossible but its not. Take care. Best of luck. Sam

    • 3 replies, 2,094 views

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    thai divorce and property law

    By Anonymous, Created on: 21/02/2005, Last updated on: 16/01/2006

    » I'm a U.S. citizen and married to a thai guy in U.S., he has nothing in U.S. but business ownership, land and bank accounts in thailand. our baby is going to be U.S. citizen, i want to know, is it true by law that he told me that i cannot co-own any business, land or bank account of his? what can...

    • Anonymous commented : sh for only sending her 2-250 bahts a month...he was saving for wedding, visas, fixing up his house for her, etc. He told them he wasn't a rich farang, just a 20ish architectural draftsman, starting his own business. This whole situation is making him sick---first believing she loves him, then believing she has someone new lined up. Any clues? It was when she started withdrawing money from a bank in Bangkok while claiming she was in Khon Kaen that he demanded answers...she claims the bank is crazy...though they've checked twice, and she claims it was from a Bangkok St in Khon Khan...but when he asked her to withdraw from that account again, she refused. Any hope? His sister who once travelled alone to Thailand recently, had all her money stolen by a man she thought was a Thai friend the first day in the country; then had a marijuana leave planted in her backpack on a train, when she left it to go to the bathroom which a Thai lady warned her about, so she was able to extricate it---and sure enough 15 mintues later a couple police came through asking to check inside luggage. This is a long letter, sorry, but we have no one to turn to. So far no one here knows any Thai law...at the law school...

    • Anonymous commented : i bride $250 a month (not 250 bahts) from MT until processed her K-3. He also sent twice that originally for a period of time to help her pay off her previous debts. Then he insisted that they go back to their original agreement--$250 only--except for emergencies and gifts. She had gotten used to the higher amount and hit the roof and refuse to maintain the budget by spending all the $250 from the account he set up for her as soon as it arrived--the first week of the month and then cajoling constantly for more.. When he refused to send more--as he had warned her he must save for visa, marriage and take care of his new business--She claimed he was starving her and not meeting his obligations. She didn't seem to ever believe him when he would tell her by phone and by email NO NO NO to outspending the $250 each month. She never sent any sad ,separated sweetheart kinds of emails, once he forced her to stay within budget (she receives 8000 bahts a month from her sister for caring for the sister's 8 year old spoiled son---even bathing him, dressing him, powdering his bottom, and catering to his every whim) In the spring, she only wrote about her husband's being "selfish---all my Thai friends agree---you're selfish---just like Thai men are." (???) "Why did you sign marriage registration if you weren't going to support me?!! Why you lie? How can I trust you?" She also got him to provide for English lessons, and claimed to be the best student in her class, but then dropped the classes this spring, around the time he started "starving" her. This girl has a car, lives in a new high standard house which the three sisters just bought for their parents---to get them out of police housing. They also have a country house, with rice, pond, etc. The father isn't retired, still working but spends most of his time with his girlfriend and refuses to pay mortgage for the house, so daughters are each to pay a third...so new bride keeps asking my son to send money for mortgage ASAP.... 1) Could they annul and then apply for a K-1 visa with any chance of success? 2) In an uncontested divorce, in a marriage of 8 months, in which the couple has never lived together since registration, could the "husband" sign papers in US and get a proxy to present them at the amphur? 3) If they married in Bangkok, shouldn't they divorce there instead of in Khon Kaen which she insists? 4) Although non-contested, can the Amphur then assess a lot of trumped up fines on my son, and refuse to let him leave the country until they were paid? (She might have run up credit card debts or whatever in the nine months since he's seen her...) 5) Could he divorce her from the US, according to Thai laws, and send the papers over? We believe that last spring, she might have reunited with an old Thai boyfriend; or that her sister is lining up one of her husband's older friends to marry her next...they seem awfully anxious to end it....but my son says he would be a sitting duck for the cops or old boyfriends or whomever---leaving her with all his worldly assets, or at least half...(Somehow his bank knew of his recent foreign marriage, although he has never informed them? Weird...she has US in-laws with former CIA connections...it feels claustrophia and maybe we're paranoid...but reading the UN Report about Human Rights Violations during the Crackdown...and the disappearance of farangs, and the recognition that the police system is questionable and prisons unassailable...going back isn't an option, but the need to end this travesty is weighing on all of us...as we vasilate like the ones who write to Stickman...She's innocent/she's not; she's cohersed/she instigating; she's Cinderella/she's Cruella de Ville; she has a Thai boyfriend/she doesn't/she is lining up a richer farang/she's heartbroken; he could go safely and quickly for a co-signing/he will get hit with lawsuits and not be able to leave the country; he would be safe in Bangkok/he would be set upon by a gang paid to avenge Thai girl's loss of face---farang thinks $250 enough for ME while he saves for wedding!!! Then one day he noticed while she was suppose to be at home--as she stated in her email--visiting with friends next door in Khon Kaen--documents from the account he set up for her had a withdrawal from Bangkok. When he asked her about this she said it was a mistake. She claimed she hadn't returned to Bangkok since their wedding, the day he flew back to Montana. He went to great effort to have the bank double-check where the withdrawal occurred. She claimed it was the Malikan branch on Bangkok Road in Khon Kaen. So--he sent her $85 and told her to please use that same branch bank for the withdrawal...she has refused and asked that he drop the subject as it is boring her, and she dislikes him accusing her as she is innocent. Ever since her weird behavior this spring, my son and I have been combing the internet to try and understand Thai culture, divorce and marriage laws, bar girls and found this forum. She has belatedly agreed to co-signing an annulment, and wants him to apply for the K-1 afterwards. However, when he asks that she and her mother or whomever, and nephew meet him in Bangkok where they married for annulment, with him paying all expenses, hotel, plane, etc. She refuses and says they must meet in Khon Kaen. My son worries that it wouldn't be safe to return to Khon Kaen. Although agreeing to co-signment of a non-contested divorce, she seems to be talleying up "her" expenses---could they hit him with a big bill for costing her "face" or whatever...and refuse to let him leave the country w/o his first paying? With a police chief father, who seems to really enjoy finding drug cars, which the police can then keep for themselves, and an uncle who is a lawyer---and the kind of records she seems to be keeping---it seems highly unlikely that my son can sail in, sign, and sail out. Would a proxy be allowed? The girl, herself, seems to rather naive, she has been caring for her sister's (who married a farang GI) child since the boy was 2 years old---the child is constantly being refused immigration by Thai authorities. The family seems to have an agenda of their own and she is just a pawn in the game...or so it seemed, until last spring when she seemed to change character from a loving bride and began ranting for more and more money. (We chalked it up to some translator writing the letters...perhaps even her sister who is now rich via marrying a farang who later became successful businessman. NO to spending outside the budget, but she just went ahead. Then threatened to become a bar-girl if he didn't send between 450 and 500 dollars a month. Later, she said this wasn't a serious threat, only a "test" of him. Originally the future wedding ceremony in Khon Kaen was agreed by the family to be: $1000 bride price, a modest ceremony which could be up to a $1000, and a diamond ring. Then this spring, arguing for $400 or $500 a month--which was never agreed upon priorly although she claims so--she also demands now for the wedding: 150,000 bahts for mother; 150,000 bahts for reception which the Mom will cater ; and 150,000 bahts for show at wedding--with an unspecified amount returned later. One one-carat diamond ring. She now claims if these demands aren't meant her parents will refuse to let her come to America. Also, recently she has said if $250 monthly isn't sent to mother then she won't be "allowed" to go. Once in America, she claims she will try to pay half of Mom's costs. My son thought maybe they could get non-contested annulment and then apply for a K-1 visa for her---as it seems risky to bring her to America as a wife---while he would be protected if she were only a fiancee. If they were simpatico here, they could marry in the US, and then return for the Thai ceremony in a year (and he could get a pre-nup before he marries her here.) Would this work?

    • 44 replies, 19,067 views

    Forum

    divorce and marriage law in thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 23/04/2005, Last updated on: 12/07/2007

    » can any one advise me the following matter. a friend of mine will be getting married to his thai fiancee in 12 days time in thailand. what i would like to know is if the marriage should sadly break down and then his wife goes back to thailand after say they have lived in england for about 6 months...

    • Anonymous commented : d conditions such as millions baht Sin Sot (dowry), adoption of Thai born children from former or incumbent husbands of Thai nationals. This networks are partly agented by Thai prostitutes and overseas prostitutes or ex-prostitute-married or divorced from farang husband. There is a New York agent. Her name is Mrs. Robinson (ex-Thai prostitute worked in Bangkok, Pattaya, Hong Kong, Singapore and lured a naive American young man to marry). London, Rome, New York, LA are the main places where lure innocent Thai women to marry, milk delivery man, sewage dealer, drug traffickers, unemployeed, prostitution runner, etc. Well educated Thai women found miserable life after known all history and capacity of new husband and dumped into commercial venues with adopted Thai children. All Thai women must be very careful and Thai government must involve in this international marriage and welfare of their own national children.

    • Anonymous commented : lls me that she gets paid 100 baht a day. Her translators husband (the american) tells me that she chooses to work within the family & could get much more pay elsewhere. I questioned why & said that i thought it was sad that she had not made use of her degree (i got no response - FYI, this was by email after i returned to UK). Your comment on why i want to marry a 36 year old woman was not appreciated. As my original posting said, i am 45. I really don't think that 9 years younger is unrealistic. What age would you like to see, 18? Do you want me to be another middle age western man with a baby bride. Perhaps you are ageist Rooster. I was not particularly planning to have children, but then again i would like to meet someone under 40, (not meaning to sound ageist myself there) so if they were of a child bearing age, didn't have a child but wanted one & we got to love each other & wanted to get married then i may change my mind, after all i wouldn't want to deprive them of that natural desire. As for the for the foreign students & housekeepers. That is not what i am looking for, I am not looking for someone to wait on me & i am not after sexual gratification with a much youger woman(I could go to Bangkok for that), my head rules me (not my penis) which may be less common than the other way round. Thanks again both & as suggested i will be reading more of these postings.

    • 66 replies, 27,286 views

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    For the Foreigners who wished to retire, to work and or to live in Thailand

    By Anonymous, Created on: 17/07/2005, Last updated on: 31/12/2012

    » I am kinda tired of mis-information provided by some forumers. I always think that it is best to learn the law ourselves. Since we are learnt persons, otherwise...we would not be participating in this forum. This is a website from Thai Embassy in Washington D.C.. I often using the Thai Embassy...

    • villager commented : , all you need is the 800,000 baht , and as Scy advised take your time ,don,t rush headlong into anything, try to get advice from long time stayers in Thailand ,its actually a piece of cake once you know the score , also make it quite plain from the start you are marrying her not all her family otherwise you may have BIG PROBLEMS once you start to live here , I made this proviso right from the word go , because I,ve personally seen so much grief on the farangs behalf when his wife,s family just regarded him as an ATM on legs, and in closing DON'T lend money ,cos i,ve heard enough sob storeys on this score to fill the old testament.[/quote:7ejb8ow2] If you take the advice of Baron Von Trapp(ed in Trang and Bang-up in Buriram you're heading for the same situation they're in, living as tenants in their wives' houses supporting all the unemployed relatives, boats burnt and no way out of a lawless country heading towards total anarchy or Burmese style military dictatorship (it's on the cusp and could go either way) Get into trouble of any kind and no one will help least of all the police , try reading other threads like "Tourism what are they thinking?" "new visa rules for foreigners" "A storm is coming for us..." "Multiple Farang Deaths in Phuket" "Rude immigration staff" "PAD and foreigners" "DEVALUE THAILAND BAHT" and "Thailand NOT For Sale" They'll give you a fair idea of what to expect, the Land of Smiles is a misnomer now I know I tried living there from 2001 to 2007 and left for civilised English speaking Malaysia With the THB at 52 to the GBP bring as little as possible, wait a few weeks and you'll see it revalued to 65+ Opening a bank account is easy, just walk into the Kasikorn with THB10,000 and your passport (they issue an ATM card on the spot and charge THB300 for it) I was 62 when I did it in 2002 at 4 different banks in Bangkok (they never mentioned a work permit) Take your time is good advice (about 20 years should be enough) and don't rush into anything, she ain't going to run away as walking ATMs are thin on the ground in Thailand right now I expect you're already sending money, I knew girls in Phuket who had up to six i.diots doing the same, have you bought her a new mobile yet, how's her mother's operation and is the sick buffalo better yet Maybe you should rethink the whole thing unless you like walking in minefields, that is [/quote:7ejb8ow2] Yep The prophet from Penang speaks out eh, mind you Pappy it did take you almost 6 years before the penny finally dropped did,nt it , which even you have to admit is quite some time for a guy like yourself who seems to have all the answer,s,LOLOL.

    • 16 replies, 40,140 views

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